How many of the woman 'sisters' had to sit in the back seat while in FS

by life is to short 9 Replies latest jw friends

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  life is to short

  I was wondering how many of the sisters on this board had to sit in the back seat while in service. When I was single I almost always used my car and unlike most of the sister who turned over their cars to the brothers to drive and would then take the back seat in THEIR OWN CAR I never did. So I did not have a problem with this being single.

  Once I was married it was a different story. I have been in three main halls the one in Brooklyn while I was at Bethel does not really count because we did not use our car in service.

  At first I was really hurt. I paid for the car and bought the gas and the men just went to the front and said you woman can sit in the back and talk. I was so Pissed but my husband and everyone just went along with it. After awhile I just accepted it, I told my husband that it brothered me but so what.

  The hall we are in now there is an attorney who's wife gives the front seat to 18 and 19 year old boys even. I just find it wrong. OK if it is an older man like this one brother who is in his 80's and has a really bad back yes because the front seat is easy for him to get in and out of. But come one men my age who happen to be elders, etc. It just pisses me off.

  So what about you other sisters, what did you do. Go to the back or was it even a problem in the halls you were in. It seems that for it to be like that in three halls for me it is more than just a fluke that it happened to me so much.

  Thanks for you thoughts.

  LITS
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  yknot

  I have never done FS with a man in my own vehicle.... (would be inappropriate in my area)

  As for the rest.... never really thought of it! Being born-in, the rules on fraternizing with the opposite sex are pretty well enforced.

  I accepted that in relinquishing any thought of sitting up front was fostering the males to 'take the lead' and feel as sense of responsibility and duty to the care of us gals.

  The only time I have an issue with social rules is when I am being told no, when I want to have my way.

  Since I do most of my alleged FS from M-Th the only time I am with a male is at the service meeting, I get our directions and we gals split with our kids. The only men who do FS during this time are retired and do so with their wives or each other. Having small children in the car acts like repellent...
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  alanv

  Women in the org are not encouraged to anything except pioneer and be a good wife.

  My son who is a JW asked us to speak to him first before we ask his JW wife to help in any way. It's all about power.
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  Broken Promises

  Let me get this right – a brother would assume driver privileges of YOUR car? Not for any good reason (tiredness, headache etc) but simply so that the men would be in the front, and women in the back????

  It never happened in the congregations where I lived.

  I know of occasional instances where the brother would drive his own car and have another brother sit in the front, while his wife and another sister would sit in the back. But this was partly for convenience, so that the sisters could gossip freely with each other!!

  I was in situations where the husband and wife sat in the front, I sat in the back and another brother might be in the back with me, but that’s not the situation you’re talking about, is it?
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  blondie

  I have found now that I am out, that non-jws tend to relegate women to the back seats.

  Man drives and wants to talk to other man in the couple they are out with, so he sits up front in the passenger seat. The women are relegated to the back seat supposedly without the stress of driving and being able to talk "women" things with each other. I insist on sitting up front when my husband drives and it irritates his male friends.
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  blondie

  BTW, I would never let someone else drive my car, brother or not, the insurance aspects would be daunting.
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  OnTheWayOut

  In congs. I was in, people drove their own car. It was rare for one person to have someone else drive their car. It is an organization primarily run by men, so men tended to drive their own cars when in a group. (Many of the really dedicated elders had minivans.) But women drove their own cars, also.

  While I agree that the men driving did tend to put the women in the back seats, it was also the wives of these men that would insist that the "brothers" sit up front just as often. And who can blame them? If you are out in a work you are not thrilled with, let the man drive and let the navigator (primary job in the front passenger seat) be a "brother." Sit back there and relax, just getting out on your turn.
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  man in black

  An elder I knew once stated his view of a womens role as a jw :

  "all they need is to be kept barefoot and pregnant ".

  Funny how today, his wife has problems, and his adult children are both df'ed and have nothing to do with him.
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  life is to short

  The sisters who let the brothers drive wanted it that way. They would ask for the brother to drive because they did not feel well, etc. Then is just became the way it was.

  As far as sitting in the back, sometimes I truly did not mind. I minded when I was told I had too. That is what brothered me. It was my car and if I wanted to sit with my husband then I should not be told to sit in the back. I agree with Blondie that it happens with none JW's also, but it was just they way it was done that got to me.
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  OnTheWayOut

  As a worldly teen of the late 70's/early 80's, I get it that the front seat is the honored spot. Cruising or long drives, the speakers in the back window drowned out the conversation from the back seat, many two-door cars had lousy windows in the back seat. Any fifth persons or babyseats were squeezed in the back.

  Meanwhile, the passenger had a bigger/plusher seat and had the coveted "control of the radio."

  But in my day, the guys in the backseat did tend to have the joint and the beer more often. (I am glad I survived it.)