The End of False Religion is NEAR!
When that came out it it sent chills down my spine... I knew the end was close... that was 4 years ago...
Does 4 years constitute as "near"? Not in my book.
Here's a writeup I just did of that Kingdom News that was oh so scary 4 years ago for me:
Kingdom NewsNo. 37
A WorldwideMessage
The EndofFalseReligionIsNear!
- What is false religion?
Religion that is false?
- How will it end?
One day someone will figure out they are full of shit?
- How will you be affected?
Probably in some fashion
What IsFalseReligion? – dude, I already answered that ^
Are you distressed about crimes committed in the name of religion? Do the warfare, terrorism, and corruption perpetrated by those who claim to serve God offend your sense of justice? (well, now that you mention it, YEAH!) Why does religion seem to be at the root of so many problems? (That’s a pretty deep question and this pamphlet is like two pages and it’s mostly pictures)
The fault lies, not with all religion, but with false religion. A widely respected religious figure, Jesus Christ (unless your Jewish), indicated that false religion produces bad works, just as a “rotten tree produces worthless fruit.” (Matthew 7:15-17) What fruit does false religion yield? (cactus apples?)
False Religion . . .
- MEDDLESINWARANDPOLITICS: “Across Asia and beyond,” says the journal Asiaweek, “power-hungry leaders are cynically manipulating people’s religious sentiments for their own needs.” As a result, the journal warns: “The world threatens to sink into madness.” A prominent religious leader in the United States declared: “You’ve got to kill the terrorists before the killing stops.” His solution? “Blow them all away in the name of the Lord.” By contrast, the Bible says: “If anyone makes the statement: ‘I love God,’ and yet is hating his brother, he is a liar.” (1 John 4:20) Jesus even said: “Continuetoloveyourenemies.” (Matthew 5:44) How many religions can you think of whose members engage in war? (the first emotion that comes to MY mind when my friends are blown up by a suicide bomber is definitely love)
- SPREADSFALSEDOCTRINE: Most religions teach that the soul or spirit is some invisible part of a human that survives the death of the physical body. By means of this teaching, many of these religions exploit their members, charging money to pray for departed souls. (so far the reasoning in this pamphlet gives me complete confidence you are not trying to exploit me at all!) However, the Bible teaches a different doctrine. “Thesoulthatissinning—ititselfwilldie.” (Ezekiel 18:4) “The living are conscious that they will die; but as for the dead, they are conscious of nothing at all.” (Ecclesiastes 9:5) Jesus taught that the dead will be resurrected—an unnecessary action if humans had an immortal soul. (unless the soul can die) (John 11:11-25) Does your religion teach that the soul does not die?
- TOLERATESIMMORALSEX: In Western lands, church groups ordain gay and lesbian members of the clergy and urge governments to recognize same-sex marriages. (I DO run across an awful lot of gay pastors these days) Even churches that condemn immorality have tolerated religious leaders who have sexually abused children. (gasp! Will someone PLEASE think of the children! Wait, haven’t I read accusations of that with YOUR organization?) What, though, does the Bible teach? It plainly states: “Donotbemisled.Neitherfornicators,noridolaters,noradulterers,normenkeptforunnaturalpurposes,normenwholiewithmen. . .willinheritGod’skingdom.” (1 Corinthians 6:9, 10) Do you know of religions that condone immoral sex? (not condone, tolerate really. Humans are humping monkey’s I sure as hell understand not trying to police those horny bastards, btw how is your track record in that arena?)
What does the future hold for religions that produce rotten fruit? (those cactus apples hurt!) Jesus warned: “Every tree not producing fine fruit gets cut down and thrown into the fire.” (Matthew 7:19) Yes, false religion will be chopped down and destroyed! (no one likes cactus apples anyway) But how and when will this happen? A prophetic vision recorded in the Bible book of Revelation, chapters 17 and 18, provides the answer. (Oh Revelation? That book is bullet proof!)
How WillFalseReligionEnd?
Picture the scene. A harlot is sitting on the back of a fearsome beast. The beast has seven heads and ten horns. (Ok, but that is hell of weird) (Revelation 17:1-4) Whom does the harlot represent? She exerts influence “over the kings of the earth.” She dresses in purple, uses incense, and is exceedingly wealthy. In addition, by means of her spiritistic practice, ‘allthenations are misled.’ (Revelation 17:18; 18:12, 13, 23) The Bible helps us to see that this harlot is a worldwide religious entity. She depicts, not any one religion, but all religions that produce rotten fruit. (Ok, I get it. But couldn’t the Harlot represent the Weather? The weather influences the actions of the kings of the earth and damn is it hard to predict! Therefore being wholly misleading! Why, the other day there wasn’t barely a cloud in the sky and Blake Griffon from KQUS said it was going to be a good day for the lake but by the time I got there…)
The beast that the harlot rides pictures the world’s political powers. (of course it does, it’s the only explanation!) (Revelation 17:10-13) False religion straddles the back of this political beast, attempting to influence its decisions and to control its direction. (Ok, I’ll go with this religious entity thing, but don’t give up on my weather idea.)
Soon, though, an amazing event will take place. “The ten horns that you saw, and the wild beast, these will hate the harlot and will make her devastated and naked, and will eat up her fleshy parts and will completely burn her with fire.” (Revelation 17:16) In a sudden, shocking move, the world’s political powers will turn on false religion and completely destroy her! What will prompt this action? The Bible book of Revelation answers: “God put it into their hearts to carry out his thought.” (ok…) (Revelation 17:17) Yes, God will call false religion to account for all the despicable acts she has committed in his name. In a stroke of perfect justice, he will use her political paramours as his instrument of execution. (except for democratic nations of course, since they don’t have kings)
What must you do if you do not want to share the fate of false religion? “Get out of her, my people,” urges God’s messenger. (kinky!) (Revelation 18:4) Indeed, now is the time to flee from false religion! But to where can you flee? Not into atheism, since its future is also bleak. (shit! really? aw man…)(2 Thessalonians 1:6-9) The only haven is within true religion. How can you identify true religion? (I can see where this going…)
How toIdentifyTrueReligion
What good fruit should true religion produce?—Matthew 7:17. (I don’t own a bible! You cant just cite verses like that! Alright I will take your word for it, Mathew 7:17 probably supports your fruity point.)
True Religion . . .
- PRACTICESLOVE: True worshippers are “no part of the world,” are not divided by race or culture, and display ‘love among themselves.’ (John 13:35; 17:16; Acts 10:34, 35) Rather than killing one another, they are willing to die for one another.—1 John 3:16. (sounds like a group of people I could get used to!)
- TRUSTSGOD’SWORD: Instead of teaching “tradition” and “commands of men as doctrines,” true religion bases its doctrine on God’s Word, the Bible. (so you are a tradition-less people, got it.) (Matthew 15:6-9) Why? Because “all Scripture is inspired of God and beneficial for teaching, for reproving, for setting things straight.” (Ok let me reiterate here so I make sure I get this. The bible says I should trust it in 2 Timothy, so you use that verse to convince me to trust the bible. K, just clarifying that)—2 Timothy 3:16.
- STRENGTHENSFAMILIESANDUPHOLDSHIGHMORALSTANDARDS: True religion trains husbands to ‘love their wives as their own bodies,’ (But never more! That’s just weird) helps wives to develop ‘deep respect for their husbands,’ (Is it just me or is this pamphlet full of hidden sexual innuendo?) and teaches children to ‘be obedient to their parents.’ (Among other things right?) (Ephesians 5:28, 33; 6:1) In addition, those entrusted with positions of authority must have exemplary morals. (What constitutes “exemplary morals”?)—1 Timothy 3:1-10.
Does any religion meet these standards? (I know your going to say there is at LEAST one!) The book HolocaustPolitics, published in 2001, says: “If more people practiced versions of what the Jehovah’s Witnesses preach and practice, the Holocaust could have been prevented and genocide would scourge the world no more.” (So could have other church organizations, sure they would have homo pastors and hand our cactus apples to their members, but the holocaust still wouldn’t have happened)
Indeed, in 235 lands, Jehovah’s Witnesses do not just preach the Bible’s moral standards—they live by them. We urge you to ask Jehovah’s Witnesses to help you learn what God requires of you so that you can worship him acceptably. Now is the time to act. Do not delay. The end of false religion is near!—Zephaniah 2:2, 3. (This is funny, I’d like to see what would happen to anyone who tried to ban religion on all fronts, globally. Sure God will put it into their minds right? Well does it mention how “God” is going deal with the Billions of inconsolably pissed off people of the world who just lost the only thing they live for? Sorry dudes, but this pamphlet is about as convincing as a snake oil salesmen of 1874)
If you want more information about the Bible-based message that Jehovah’s Witnesses preach, feel free to contact them at the address below.
? Without obligation, I request a copy of the brochure KeepontheWatch!
? Please contact me concerning a free home Bible study.
[ X ] Without obligation, please send me every one of these “Kingdom News” things you hand out, they provide me with comic material I could not even try to make up myself.