when leaving the Borg....

by lydia 5 Replies latest jw friends

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  lydia

  I know how very hard it is for us to leave a friend.. or let go of a loved one through death.
  Many here have been raised in the Truff....
  while others have only been either associated or were in a breif time...
  So I have a question..
  How long were you out before you were able to make a "worldly" friend??

  Did the teachings from the Borg keep you from trusting them??

  How did you handle the shunning - and did you have people on the outside who helped??

  I know how long it took me - about 5 minutes.. but I was not raised in the Borg...

  My adopted sisters have taken much longer.. having been raised in - they seem to have more of a difficulty in stepping over this hurdle..

  If you were raised in - were your parents strict in the practice of not allowing worldly friends?? or did they allow some??

  If you were only in as an adult.. Did you have any children ?? and if so - how di they deal with the pressures put on them by the society??

  I'm curious as to how others have dealt with this...

  Lydia
• 

  lydia

  Anyone have any ideas on this??

  Just curious....
• 

  Belligerent Paladin

  Truthfully, I'm still not officially "out". I have a number of "worldly friends". I was raised a witness and stopped judging people by their standing in "the truth" the day after I realized the Faithful and Discreet Slave doctrine was a load of crap.

  Since I'm not DF'd or DA'd I haven't had the shunning thing happen yet. Since I have a lot of friends who aren't witnesses now, it shouldn't be too hard for me. My martial arts instructor is going to be a big help when that happens.

  I'm sure it depends greatly on the individual. My wife will have a more diffiCULT time with it, but I'll make sure she get the support she needs
• 

  wonderwoman77

  I was only in the borg for about 6 years, from the time I was 13 to 19. During this time I had worldly friends at school. I severed some of them when I first joined the borg, but as I got older I made a lot of worldly friends and so I had no problem. In fact I found I trusted them more than my friends at the KH.
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  LB

  I came into the borg late in life. But a difficult thing to do for me was to leave my worldly friends behind. I mostly shut them out of my life. After all, why hang on to worldly things. The amazing thing is, when I got out of the borg all of them couldn't wait to be my friend again. Not one turned their back on me.

  Guess now many witnesses stay in touch, even though I'm only inactive???

  exactly

  
  Never Squat With Yer Spurs On
• 

  bigfloppydog

  as a young child, only grandparents where in org. they were very loving and kind. Mom remarried we where teenagers, never really where involved at that time. I married, decided to join org. was in for a long time, hubby and kids where not, kids went because I did, when they reached certain age I let them decide what they wanted to do, never forced it on them. As time went on, things starterd to happen that eventually made me decide to leave. When I did it was very upsetting for a long time, the first time I was shunned I was devastated. I still had not found a lot of friends, but had my hubby and kids, they where very supportive. You go through alot of feelings when you leave some being saddness, guilt, anger, when I became strong enough and a little more guilt-free, the shunning did not bother so much. Not until I was shunned by my best friend, that really bothered me. Then after a few years, I learned my friend left the org. and I tried to find her, for a whole month I tried. Then one day I believe she was talking to my daughter, and some how we got hooked-up again. Our first time we re-met each other was full of tears and happiness, and alot of questions. Now we both have all sorts of friends. I think it softened the blow for her leaving the org. because I left first, so by the time she left, I had already made a few friends and was able to introduce her to a whole knew circle of people. We are still friends, and she is very happy now, and so am I. Having people shun you can be very difficult at first but you need to hand in there till your life changes a little and you meet knew ones. It takes time but it will happen, now when I get shunned at least my head is held high, not dragging on ground because of guilt.