Post-Cult Trauma Syndrome

FreePeace

Here is some interesting info from a website at http://www.refocus.org/postcult.html that may help those just leaving the WTS to understand the feelings they are experiencing (and the rest of us too). It is not about JW's per se, but it still applies.

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Post-Cult Trauma Syndrome*

After exiting a cult, an individual may experience a period of intense and often conflict-ing emotions. She or he may feel relief to be out of the group, but also may feel grief over the loss of positive elements in the cult, such as friendships, a sense of belonging or the feeling of personal worth generated by the group's stated ideals or mission. The emotional upheaval of the period is often characterized by "post- cult trauma syn-drome":

·spontaneous crying
·sense of loss
·depression & suicidal thoughts
·fear that not obeying the cult's wishes will result in God's wrath or loss of salvation
·alienation from family, friends
·sense of isolation, loneliness due to being surrounded by people who have no basis for understanding cult life
·fear of evil spirits taking over one's life outside the cult
·scrupulosity, excessive rigidity about rules of minor importance
·panic disproportionate to one's circumstances
·fear of going insane
·confusion about right and wrong
·sexual conflicts
·unwarranted guilt
·The period of exiting from a cult is usually a traumatic experience and, like any great change in a person's life, involves passing through stages of accommodation to the change:
·Disbelief/denial: "This can't be happening. It couldn't have been that bad."
·Anger/hostility: "How could they/I be so wrong?" (hate feelings)
·Self-pity/depression: "Why me? I can't do this."
·Fear/bargaining: "I don't know if I can live without my group. Maybe I can still as-sociate with it on a limited basis, if I do what they want."
·Reassessment: "Maybe I was wrong about the group's being so wonderful."
·Accommodation/acceptance: "I can move beyond this experience and choose new directions for my life" or...
·Reinvolvement: "I think I will rejoin the group."

Passing through these stages is seldom a smooth progression. It is fairly typical to bounce back and forth between different stages. Not everyone achieves the stage of ac-commodation / acceptance. Some return to cult life. But for those who do not, the fol-lowing may be experienced for a period of several months:

·flashbacks to cult life
·simplistic black-white thinking
·sense of unreality
·suggestibility, ie. automatic obedience responses to trigger-terms of the cult's loaded language or to innocent suggestions
·disassociation (spacing out)
·feeling "out of it"
·"Stockholm Syndrome": knee-jerk impulses to defend the cult when it is criticized, even if the cult hurt the person
·difficulty concentrating
·incapacity to make decisions
·hostility reactions, either toward anyone who criticizes the cult or toward the cult it-self
·mental confusion
·low self-esteem
·dread of running into a current cult-member by mistake
·loss of a sense of how to carry out simple tasks
·dread of being cursed or condemned by the cult
·hang-overs of habitual cult behaviors like chanting
·difficulty managing time
·trouble holding down a job

Most of these symptoms subside as the victim mainstreams into everyday routines of normal life. In a small number of cases, the symptoms continue.

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* This information is a composite list from the following sources: "Coming Out of Cults", by Margaret Thaler Singer, Psychology Today, Jan. 1979, P. 75; "Destructive Cults, Mind Control and Psychological Coercion""Destructive Cults, Mind Control and Psychological Coercion"", Positive Action Portland, Oregon, and ""Fact Sheet", Cult Hot-Line and Clinic, New York City.

FreePeace
"The World is my country, and to do good, my religion." --Thomas Paine
TruthQuest: http://beam.to/truthquest
Who Am I? -How to Reinvent Yourself After Leaving the WTS

badwillie

Thanks for posting this. A lot of us need to see that these feelings are not unique to exJW's.

Joyzabel

Thank you Free Peace for posting this.

For those who are offended that jws are "cult" like, they will see that the emotions of existing a group who had their minds controlled are very similar.

I can't imagine going through these emotions by myself and am glad I have this board to help me deal with them.

Thank you one and all who help, you know who you are. j2bf

Cath

Freepeace,
Thanks for the link.
I was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder a while back and that was because of abuse I survived but I now also can see many of the symptoms of Post-Cult Trauma Syndrome coming out.
It has been 29 years since I was df'd but until recently I still thought the JW's had the truth and that I was undeserving of eternal life or anything else for that matter.
It was only after visiting the umpteenth therapist in October last year that I was given the details of web sites to go to for ex JW's and that was when things really started to fall apart for me, including my marriage which is definitely over now.
It feels like I have just freshly come out and I don't know who I am and don't belong anywhere that I can see. As recently as last week I was very tempted to just opt out of life altogether because of depression. When I'm up I'm up but when I am down I find it hard to come back as I am sure others can relate to.
Well I am still surviving and it is due to the fact that there are many wonderful people willing to give their stories and perspectives on sites such as these and I thank you all.
Please keep 'em coming.

Cath

Pureheart

Hi FreePeace,

thanks for the post. I am experiencing similar feelings on some of the points that you listed. I feel good that many of the ones listed does not apply to me. Maybe because my family even though JWs, never really followed the strict WTS agenda. The Bible yes, but as far as the WT and book laws were concerned, we did some; mostly the ones that suited us, the other stuff we just ignored and it was our "business."
Example: My mother would go weeks without attending a meeting. She was "sick." uh-huh She wasn't too sick to have her non-witness boy friend over that none of the other JWs knew about. She would witness to him hoping that he would take it serious and maybe their relationship could grow deeper. Strange for a witness, huh? But her unorthadox ways worked to her childrens advantage. We are not "totally" traumatized and devasted as some poor souls are after coming to see the real face of the WT.

Pureheart

flower

so what your saying freepeace, is that i'm not insane? is that it? geez, just when i had it all figured out and closed the case.

seriously though, thanks for the post. sounds a lot like me. i guess "post- cult trauma syn-drome" is a little better than 'insane' anyway.

thanks for bein here

teenyuck

Thank you FreePeace!

I drifted out of the borg. I went to a community college and then a university 3 hours from home. I was able to drift away. I worked part-time while in school. No time for JW stuff. I never really had friends in the dubs.

Until recently I have not had time to really sit and think about the pain. I injured my back in April last year and was out of work for months. Then, with my husbands blessing, I quit.

Upon finding this board I started thinking about all the pain and anger I feel towards the JW's. For years I have told my mother I dislike them. I finally told her, about 3 weeks ago, that I hate them and I do not believe in God. She was shocked to say the least.

She has not really spoken to me since, come to think of it.

I ramble because many of the points you posted I have felt over the last 6 months or so. It is like Cath said, I have been out for years and I feel like I just got out. This list helps look at things in perspective.

Thank you.

flower

Cath,

just wanted to say thanks cause i feel just like you. its been a couple of years since i was df'd and like you until recently i still thought they had the truth so i just muddled thorough every day knowing that i was going to die at armaggeddon any day now. things got worse when i had my kid and i was very depressed and emotionally unstable. it helped to come here and hear the truth but for some reason the old feelings dont just go away upon finding out. i wish they did. actually i thought they would at first cause i was so excited at first. but its not as easy as it should be.

anyway i'm rambling but your post really touched me cause it described me so much. especially when you said you feel like you dont belong anywhere or fit. and the ups and downs are very bad especially cause i end up hurting people that are trying to help me when i am down and then i feel even worse.

take care and know you arent alone.

flower

Satanus

Thanks Freepeace

I knew the wt was wrong 5 yrs ago when they dfd me, but i still have some of those things on the list. I guess it takes longer for some of us.

SS

Post-Cult Trauma Syndrome

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