I think I just answered my question in someways as the way of JW's do not make sense period. That same family that their youngest daughter is being treated so wonderfully also have a granddaughter who is in her 20's. Unmarried and living with her boyfriend and they have a baby together. She never had it good in the "truth" she was never treated kindly in the religion. So she went else where got df'ed so what I will not shun her. She has had a hard life, her parents though in the "truth" did not raise her with true love. She works in a store by where I live and I see her a couple of times a month. I always go out of my way to say hi. At first she was amazed that I was treating her so nice and now she smiles and looks so happy that I treat her like a human being. Her grandmother is kind to her but the rest of the family shuns her. It is all so sad. She does not know that my husband is not an elder anymore so my going out of my way to speak to her means something to her. I even brought my husband in and set him up so he spoke to her. It made her day. We need kindness in life we truly do.
LITS