Should we choose ease of technology over actual face to face communication?

by lalaa 6 Replies latest jw friends

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  lalaa

  I know that this doesn't have anthing to do with what's usually posted on here but I recently had a discussion with a friend of mine and she said that if she had that choice she would do everything on her computer or blackberry. The thought of talking to people that she wasn't familiar with scared her at times. She said that she knows a lot of people that feel the same way as her.....Now I will admit I do love the internet, facebook, technology, etc.... (and this site)....But I think good old fashion face to face communication is still #1 in my book.

  How do some of you guys feel about face to face interaction?
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  cognizant dissident

  I recently had discussions with a few friends, and we agree that the internet and other technology has ruined conversational skills and emotional intimacy. It creates the illusion that we are having intimate contact with someone or a relationship with them, when in reality it puts distance between them.

  For relatives or friends who are truly long distance, then it's great, but for many, it is just easier to text or message someone than to make the effort to get together with them.

  People who are texting and messaging while out with friends and family and ignoring the ones they are with are not learning how to have an intimate relationship with loved ones. Plus it's just plain rude!

  Don't even get me started on internet romances or worse, internet sex. It is so much easier to sit at your computer than to interact with real life flesh and blood men and women. No risk. Also, very little gain. Very little true intimacy. It's quite sad really.

  Never turn down a face to face conversation for a facebook one. Never turn down a coffee chat with your friends for a msn chat. Never turn down a conversation over dinner for a status update about what you had for dinner or where you're going for dinner.

  And for god's sake, never turn down sex with a real woman, for virtual sex with a cyber woman, no matter how hot she is. That's just crazy!
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  Markfromcali

  Well I'll say one thing about communicating online, at least when it's a post that you can take your time writing: it'd never happen with some people when you talk in person just because they probably wouldn't shut up long enough, and some people like me are probably too polite to interfere if someone just has to yak away. The whole classic bulletin board format is asychronous in time, which is convenient because you can just get to it when you have the time, but these days everyone has to be connected all the time.

  The information we don't have online in terms of tone of voice, body language and so forth does cut both ways - it can give us a better sense of what someone is trying to communicate, but it can also make us a bit self conscious (which is also the case to some degree even if they're on a webcam) and as a result possibly put on a facade rather than be ourselves. Lets face it, people do judge other people based on superficial things, and traditionally online communication is potentially a way to relate based on the merit of what someone actually says without the typical prejudices that is neither here nor there. Of course, it is also possible to project a certain image online too, but that has to do with the individual more than the content that's communicated.

  So that only makes sense if you're actually interested in an exchange of ideas, some people really just want to be social and talking about anything in depth doesn't seem to be their cup of tea, or maybe being social is as important to them as the sharing of ideas. A lot will depend on what you use it for and how you use it. The internet does have some bias in itself but most people will never even identify any of them, in which case we can't really talk intelligently about it even if our experience is that it is limiting. There are many different types of sites and different ways to use them, if we have some awareness of how they're set up then we'll be in a better position to use it more intelligently.
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  Markfromcali

  And not to pick on Facebook (unfortunately there is not a Nosebook) but one obvious example is how brief people keep those little updates. The initial post is limited, but even there people hardly ever use anywhere near the limit to be more descriptive - and the typical pattern seems to be there's not a lot of back and forth so there's not really any ongoing dialogue to be had. And if you want to write a Note for something a little bit more involved, forget about it - people will most likely just skip right over it, yet that possibility is there in the system.

  Actually, I strongly suspect that people just don't really "use their words" as they say to kids, which is really nothing high tech - the English language has been around for quite some time and it's not unreasonable to expect adults to have a good command of their native or primary language.
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  cognizant dissident

  I think it's useful to distinguish between communication and conversation.

  Status updates communicate a moment of our time, but there is no conversation, no dialogue, no interaction. This is my problem with the internet. Most of what is passing for conversation is just people blogging their opinions. They want to have a voice and the internet gives them that. But they don't really want to have a two way exchange of ideas.
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  Markfromcali

  Most of what is passing for conversation is just people blogging their opinions. They want to have a voice and the internet gives them that. But they don't really want to have a two way exchange of ideas.

  Exactly, so we can't necessarily say that's just the way the internet is, unless you include the people as well as the technology in that reference. Of course, the typical casual conversation does not particularly have a quality of being deliberate and intentional, and if you carry that attitude into a medium that's new and different there's just even more you're not going to be aware of.
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  cognizant dissident

  Very True Mark:

  In real life social situations, there are many people who talk at you instead of with you. (JW's come to mind here, and some techno bores) It is probably more a case of the human ego and/or lack of social skills and awareness. So, the internet and technology probably does not create the problem, as much as it just gives a very wide forum for it. The problem is the human desire to be the loudest voice and dominate, without listening fully and giving the floor to others (speaking of the dissemination of more serious ideas here).

  Technology does create a reinforcing loop though. Social skills are mainly taught. While we are on the internet, texting our friends or watching TV, we are not spending time with our families and teaching our children necessary conversational and social skills that will be essential for them to carry on successful business and personal relationships. Many people are truly unaware of how rude they are appearing to others. Some just don't care and you can't blame technology for that.

  Many people today have the attention span of a gnat. The 30-second sound bite must take some responsibility for this! In superficial social situations, the worst result is people think we are rude. When there is important information to be imparted that takes many hours or even days, many will miss vital info because they just can't sit still and pay attention long enough or they can't put down their cell phone long enough to stop texting and pay attention.

  I'm in university right now. There is zero tolerance for cell-phones, texting, facebooking during class. It is still considered extremely rude in many sections of society and professors will embarrass you in front of the whole class or ask you to leave if you indulge yourself.