The Sandwich: Something struck me recently about the way JWs write to the Society ... and those thinking about leaving the organization will do this. Even those Elders who are poorly educated ... with no training in how to compose a letter ... will instinctively use the "The Sandwich Method" in correspondence with the WTS.
For those not familiar with the "Sandwich" method in business correspondence: This is where you open up with nice words (Soft Bread) to a business you are having trouble with ... then you layer on some introductory reasons (Lettuce, Sauce, and Tomatoes) ... then hit them with the real issues and concerns (meat) (Your conclusions as to why they are jerks and had better change their ways) ... then you add words of grace, and magnanimity (Good cheese and Spices) to assure them you will work with them on a number of ways to resolve the problem, and then conclude with nice words again to assure them that they are still okay -- final ego stroke (Soft bread out the back end) -- all in all that is "The Sandwich Method."
Following is a typical type of letter written to the Society including some or all of the following types of sentences -- and analysis of why these are used:
BREAD: You brothers are so very very busy.
Meaning: In other words, you are a great big damn organization with tens of thousands of letters to read ... and we feel freaking lucky if you get to our letter.
YUMMY SAUCE: We appreciate your efforts and hard work in all you do for us in the worldwide association of brothers.
Meaning: We are of the belief that you slave all day over praying, researching, writing, checking, double checking, preparing for print, printing, then checking, praying then shipping tons and tons and tons of literature ... its a big operation and you do it all for us. We are so lucky to have you guys ... stroke ego ...
LETTUCE and TOMATO: We don't want to add to your burdens with additional work, but ... we are having a difficult time understanding certain things, and need your guidance. Introduce questions and scriptures, and WTS references.
Meaning: Your teachings and policies don't make sense, and here is why we are having trouble making application in the real world. And here are some scriptures that trouble us ... you see we read God's word too, just so you know we are not heathens ... and here are some WTS references just so you know we really searched this out first before bothering your busy scheduled to answer little ole' us.
THE MEAT: As a result sister or brother so-and-so died, or went to jail over the draft, or the child molester is still on the loose or still serving as an Elder ... or our brothers and sisters are being raped and tortured over the 25 cent political card ... or our brothers and sisters are technically in the Soviet Military ... but ... but ... but ... scripture, scripture, scripture, reference, reference, ...
Meaning: Your asinine rules are killing us! We don't understand, and we think that the scriptures and references we considered allow for some change ... how about it!
GOOD CHEESE & SPICES: We know you are so very busy ... but we feel that this is important, and deserves your attention and serious considerations. A letter would be nice or maybe just a response in a Watchtower article. These are among the ways we appreciate working with you.
Meaning: We really don't want to keep your response to ourselves ... we think that if you really look at this closely, you will see the need to change your rules ... and let all 6 million JWs in on the secret, and not confine it to just our consciences crap.
BREAD OUT THE BACK END: We are so, so, so grateful for all the wonderful things you do for little peons like us: The District Conventions, Kingdom Ministry Schools, Circuit Assys, Literature, CO and DO visits, and your 24 hours a day vigilance on our behalf ... truly Watchmen deep in this time of the end. Your programs are so positive and all your visiting speakers handled their assignments with great care and in glory to Jehovah.
Meaning: We are not sure you will even see our letter, and we really are not certain how you will perceive it ... in fact we are scared shitless you will get the wrong idea and remove us as Elders ... so, we don't mind kissing your butt on our way out the door.
SALUTATION: Always with you in loyal service to Jehovah! Your brothers in Jehovah's service, etc.
Meaning: God help us, but we are sending this letter anyway. Please don't get pissed at us. And if we don't hear from you for a year or two, we understand and accept that, even though many JW's sit in jail, die, and get molested.
HERE IS THE LETTER OF MY DREAMS:
Mr. Watch Tower Society: (no nicey greeting - and NO SANDWICH)
This letter is to inform you that as a result of your inane and ludicrous rules, people are dying, being thrown into prison, and children molested. Debates over Bible meaning and language or past Watchtower references are meaningless at this time.
Your inattention, spinning, and dodging for decades in unacceptable. It is obvious you lack any real concern or care for people. You have proven that you are unfit to lead people and you cannot be representing God.
Therefore, this congregation will sever all ties with you, return your literature, and cease all financial support from you, and remove you as beneficiary to our Kingdom Hall Trust Deed. Further, we are turning in any criminals to the authorities that you have previously instructed us to shield. We will be providing to the District Attorney all past correspondence from you as evidence to be used against you in any criminal proceedings. Finally, any parents of abuse victims will get our full support and testimony in any civil suits, including, but not limited to suing you out of business.
Any response from you may be sent to the Lawfirm of Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe located at 666 Satan Street, New Babylon, New York ... they will we representing us in all future communication with you.
[No Salutation, No Suck Up, and NO SANDWICH] Signed by local Elders and petition signed by all congregation members attached.
