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smoresz

Whats up everybody. I am new to the forum and web site. Well I guess I will give you some background on me. Am in my mid twenties. I recenty have stopped going to the KH for about 2 months now. I ve been baptised for 5yrs, when i was 20, and made MS by 22. I gave public talks, conducted. I married young and in the WT. Had some probs for first couple years and to add to it my wife had turned to an evil now evil DF sister. It really screwed things up for a long time but I still was able to stay MS. Well eventually I decided to go back to my ways of blazin the chronic. Got RP not once, not twice, but three times. Lost MS on the 1st. Well now I started back blazen the chron, both me and my lovely wifey. Things seem to be sooo good between us, its weird. The first time i was RP i tried really hard to go back and try and be a good worshipper, i tried hard, but it seemed that i was a mean angry person and felt soo bad about mysef. We fought alot, I turned to drinkn alot of booze and that mad things real bad between us. But eventually we both have decided to blaze up and have not gone back sense. Things are soo much better and we feel so much freer. During these past 2 yrs or so of me going back and forth have been very hard on me. It felt like I have prayed and prayed and ask God for help and help and he never helped. When I started goin away and giving in to the "world" things always seemed easyier and stress free. I like what I read here from another post, it said in a way its not that I want to be a evil bad, greedy, immoral person. Its just that I want to live and be happy and not force myself to the meetings. Not force myself to be a kind person who gets pushed over by worldly people because "we want to be peacefull". Now were happy, we dont fight, we dont call each other when were not acting christian. We recently went to a casino to celebrate our anniversary. We gambled, we smoked weed, cigarates, and we had tons of sex!!(which we've always had). Anyway thats a part of my life that I would like to share with you now. Maybe more in the future. But I had fun in the WT, I did, I had lots of good friends, people liked me alot. I dont hate them or think any down on them. I just love that I have free will, and the freedom to exercise it, I cant stress how much happier my whole family has been these past 6 months of us not going that much and thinking free!!

WingCommander

I think you're using drugs, alcohol, and lots of sex to drown out all of the monotony of JW life. It's so boring and repetitive that you do some "hard living" just to feel alive.

If you stay away from the meetings long enough, guess what will happen? You'll find that you will no longer need to "self-medicate" in the ways you described; you won't have to any longer - you'll be out of your depressive fog.

Best of luck to you.

- Wing Commander

snakeface

Welcome. I too got so tired of always walking a thin line, being "exemplary" and giving my best only to be torn down and told it's not good enough, by people who were getting away with doing things I would never do. I started associating with "worldlings" and felt better because they respected me and built me up.

Hadit

Welcome Smoresz! Thanks for sharing. I'm glad you guys found your way out and are happy. It's nice to be free and to be at peace.

I wish you and your family all the best!

Hadit

Ding

Welcome to the forum!

smoresz

I would have to agree some with you. Before I went in I used MJ for a couple yrs, I just love it! The Alcohol was def. used to drown out when I was RP and tryin to stay away from the weed. It was a line both me and my wife were walkin. But the sex hahahaha we allways had that going since we said "I do", even when we didnt get along. We feel liberated. She even told me last night she wanted to celebrate the holidays (she was born and raised in truth). We going to a haunted house 2nyte, smoke a J and have a good time!!

ps SORRY I DIDNT WRITE A TITLE

VampireDCLXV

Hello smoresz,

I agree that trying to be the best JW possible will drive almost anyone crazy. I just about lost my mind doing that. Anyway I'm glad that you and your family are out of the BOrg. I have to agree with WingCommander in that you DO seem to self medicate a lot. I hope enough time away from the JW's will help you figure out how to screw you head back on straight.

Take care,

V665

Mattieu

Welcome Smoresz! Glad things worked out with you & wifey. Where in this wide world are you guys located? Cheers, Mattieu

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