Things to say while being groped by TSA
“That’s it.”
“You know what daddy likes.”
“A little higher.”
“Oh yeaaah.”
..."No, keep looking there"
"Don't get cheap on me"
"Can you talk like Napolitano while you do it"
"When is it my turn?"
"Oh, that is a magic wand!"
“Do you have any towels?”..."
'That tickles my pumpkin"
"Does that feel infected to you?"
"Should I cough?"
"What? Aren't you going to buy me dinner first?"
"I've been around....you're going to want thicker gloves"
"Contents in pants are larger than they appear"
"Didn't I see you on Dateline?"
"You look just like my ex"
"you remind me of my former cellmate"
"do you hug your mom with those hands"
"Give us a scratch down there, this jock itch is a bitch"
"you remind me of our alter boy"
"How much do you charge? I paid a grand for this in Vegas"
"Think your little friend would like to help?"
"You're even better than the dream I had last night"
"That tickles......don't stop"
"I have latex allegies"
"Careful....I just took a Viagra"
"I bet about now you are wishing you would have studied harder in school"
"Careful, I just got a rainbow tat there yesterday"