My change (Greek - Metamorpho) since leaving the Jehovah's Witness religion

by jambon1 5 Replies latest jw friends

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  jambon1

  In Greek, meaning to 'transform.'

  I remember giving a talk as a ministerial servant which included this analogy. It was supposed to be an illustration of how one changes from the filth of the world to the beauty of being a christian. I agree that in certain cases, becoming a christian is a beautiful thing. It wasn't my experience. This is why:

  I was a crazy worldly young lad. Seventeen & full of that selfish arrogance. But I was true. I was caring. I was sensitive. I was kind & loving.

  I remember when Live Aid was on the TV in 1985. I watched this as an 8 year old. In horror that people suffered in the way that was so graphically depicted at the time. My little mind couldn't understand it. I remember at christmas & new year being upset that my family had so much good food and that on the other hand, somewhere, others were starving. I remember crying like a little baby thinking about those poor souls that I had just seen in the summer TV documentaries & news edits.

  And so to the JW's. Offering peace & security to a kid that doesn't quite fit into society. A guy that is sensitive to the problems in the world around. Tailor made for the Jehovah's Witness religion. They had all the answers after all.

  But I had to trade my freedom to find those answers. As I cooperated with the reforming JW religion, I lost all sensitivity. I wasn't true to myself at all. I took those answers & grabbed them at the expense of literally everything around me. I traded it all for the JW religion.

  As I said, my freedom of thought & expression was all gone. I repeated the WTS lines of thought like a mantra. Yet I knew as I progressed up the theocratic ladder that things were not right in the religion.

  I had became estranged from my loving family. I had become obsessed with putting this world down. I had become depressed. I had become anxious. I was deeply unhappy.

  Not quite the 'metamorpho' that I had expected.

  I eventually left the WT religion after allowing it to influence my mind for just over ten whole years. At the point I left, I didn't like who I was. I was often suicidal. I was more often than not depressed. I was dejected. I had been let down. I had let myself down by being sucked into this racket of a religion.

  Having served 5 years outside the religion I can confidently say that my life really has 'morphed.' I began to trust people. I began to see the good in all people. Worldly people were not the sort to be avoided & despised. They offered friendship & reached out the hand of unconditional love. I took it.

  I became unsuspicious of everyone around me. Embracing diversity & enjoying the fact that I need not judge almost everyone around me.

  I regained my confidence & built my business. I gained self respect as I saw that I wasn't just a useless, faithless ministerial servant doomed for death.

  I was a father who provided well for my family, both emtotionally & physically. I even began to pat myself on the back for being such a good person, rather than putting myself down for being an unspiritual doubter of the 'truth.'

  Truely, I have changed. I am able to embrace life & love it. Every second that I spend with my 3 beautiful children makes me feel so happy that I am alive. I am surrounded by love. How lucky I am.

  Toward the end of my time as a JW, I would have happily driven my car into a tree. A twentysomething young lad with a wife & family! I felt like this because of the drip, drip, drip of that religion & it's criminal negativity.

  Now, I have changed.

  I have one life of which I am certain. I am living it.

  Best wishes to you all on your Journey.

  J

  
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  nolongerwaiting

  How wonderful! I'm so glad that you have moved on to a happier place. I already feel better about myself once I stopped going and listening to all that negativity. It's amazing how it all just makes you feel like crap all the time.

  NLW's wife
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  3Mozzies

  Thanks for sharing jambon1. Sounds all to familiar to most of us.

  I was often suicidal. I was more often than not depressed. I was dejected. I had been let down. I had let myself down by being sucked into this racket of a religion.

  Toward the end of my time as a JW, I would have happily driven my car into a tree.

  Sounds like me when I was a JW

  "Jehovah's people are the happiest on earth" ... what a bunch of BS!!!

  Glad you broke free and are finally enjoying life.

  3Mozzies
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  I<3MYGod

  I am so happy for you! It's amazing to be free of it all.

  I have also morphed into a much happier person. I honestly never thought that my life could be this full and contain this much joy :)

  This new found freedom has changed me forever, life is awe inspiring. My children bring me joy beyond compare. My new found love for God overflows from every pore of my being. It's wonderful.
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  WTWizard

  While I was in the cancer, I was taught to put down all worldly people as "bad association" and worse. Every organization outside the Washtowel Slaveholdery was supposedly riddled with corruption, yet the Washtowel itself was not. All activities outside the religion were a waste of time, dead works, and that I was supposed to be using my time to save lives. This encourages a spirit of "I'm glad I am not like those people, who are going to get destroyed for doing all sorts of despicable things". People are programmed to judge others based on how much field circus you do, how many boasting sessions you attend, and how much you are willing to throw away for the cancer.

  While in reality, none of the things out in the world are in themselves vile. Instead of being afraid of the Christmas lights and sounds, I now enjoy them. Instead of worrying that a "bad" song will play on the radio, I just play them. Instead of every web site being a virus, kiddie porn, or Satanic web site, I find most of them are safe (using a good antivirus and common sense minimizes the risks that are actually out there), and I just go to the satanic sites on purpose (virus-wise, these are actually among the safest, along with apostate web sites).

  True, there is corruption in the world. It forces itself into positions of power, and closes out those who would reform governments. But, this corruption is as bad in the Washtowel Slaveholdery. I no longer view the witlesses as being outstanding in trustworthiness, nor do I view worldly people as suspicious (aside the few corrupt leaders, Osama Obama among them). And I do not view apostates as being the monsters the Washtowel Babble and Crap Slaveholdery makes them out to be.

  And, I no longer dread the holidays, or judge people because they choose to observe one or more of them.
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  Curtains

  what a wonderful life story. It is so tough when we see the structures, that are supposed to be solid, dissolve like candyfloss. The aftermath is truly death defying. I'm so glad you fought long enough to allow the transformation to take place. I always loved that analogy when it was used in talks and it is nice to see it reclaimed to show how it works to enable one to leave the watchtower.