I don't know if my children felt like they "missed out", dear Equinox (peace to you ... and your first post, eh, after lurking so long?), and I never felt guilty as my "worldly" father often did Christmas for them (until he died). I didn't have a problem with that as it was "on him," as they say. And I loved my father (he was a gentle, sweet man, so I wouldn't have deprived him of HIS joy toward his grandchildren).
We had such fun, however, that I don't think my kids missed much. They were/are my favorite people (they really were/are pretty cool and we really enjoy each other's company when we get together - they live about 100 miles away) and so we did a lot of stuff together... and were always giving one another "gifts." I'm sure they had SOME pangs (what child wouldn't?), but we did enough and they got stuff even through the holidays... before... and beyond... that, knowing them, I think they would have thought it "bad manners" to complain about what they didn't get/do.
Even before I became a WTBTS "groupie" I didn't believe gifting should be reserved for a few days a year... and I still don't. I learned that from my dear father, the son of a hypocritical Baptist minister and not a JW (he once told me that he didn't like them - they "scared" him) who handed out gifts to my siblings and I year round. Sometimes "big" things... sometimes not so big (surprise Hostess cupcakes, a candy bar, a pair of go-go boots, tickets to a show... a used bike that he'd built from parts... a new one for christmas).
One thing I did notice is that a lot of JW parents I knew SAID they made it up by giving "gifts" at other times during the year... but I never really saw that for many of them... or often... and my children would tell me a different story.
The WTBTS oversteps the Law [both the Old and New] by it's "commandments" on how their members are to treat parents/children who don't agree with them. True, my Lord said he came to put a sword between a man and his father... and he that loves father/mother more than him isn't worthy of him... but he MEANT that the opposition would come from those on the outside toward those who belong to him... and not the other way around. That is why he chastised the priests and Pharisees for their teachings on giving to the temple... "corban." Honoring one's father and mother is the first commandment that came with a PROMISE - that it would "go well" for whoever that did so. Also, it is parents who are to lay/store up for their children and not the other way around.
By their teachings, however, as to shunning parents/children... they show themselves to be the "world". Because they teach their members to love ONLY those loving them... or rather, those who THEY love. Which is what my Lord said the "nations" (world) does.
Anyway, glad you're "free" now... to show love: to your children, grandchildren, and whomever else you wish to show it. Only sad that they can't accept it.
Peace to you!
A slave of Christ,
SA
