I just had to share this piece of writing from my best childhood friend, Marty. It was written in 1969 for our Senior English class. The assignment was to write a short piece in class and then identify all of the modifiers and prepositions. He got an A. Hope the formatting works.
Why I Like Catching Nightcrawlers
(It is Also an Exciting Sport to Watch)
I like to catch nightcrawlers because they are (1) vicious little wretches and (2) they are worth a penny each at the bait shops. Many people hunt gentle things like bears, porcupines, etc.; but catching nightcrawlers (I prefer to call them nighties) in my opinion is a challenge. They do not bite, but are usuallly in a bad mood. They certainly should be. The poor beings are born in dirt, live in dirt, and die in dirt. While hunting them, you may break one. You will then see that they are even made of dirt. Breakage is a common occurance. Statistics show that one out of every four nighties is broken. When this happens, since they are no longer good for fish-bait or pets, they lie and rot, drawing flies, maggots, etc.
To see halves of nighties lying around depresses me terribly, as even robins will not eat them in this condition. They are too dry. Among the things that nighties dislike are bright lights in their faces at night, birds, bully nighties, and heavy rains. Disliking rain is common among them because then they must crawl out onto the streets. Here they drown, then are squashed by traffic and the little feet of children on their way to school. This is why streets have a greenish tint after a rain; nighties have green blood.
Now I would like to tell you how to catch them. It is fun and profitable. Be sure, before starting, that you have a tall can strapped securely to one of your legs. It doesn’t matter which one as both are needed when you run away from your catching area. The owners always chase you out. This happens many times and is quite discouraging when at two o’clock in the morning you have only three nighties. Every once in a while you should check inside the can. Nighties can escape by stepping on each-other’s shoulders to the top. The last one out closes the lid.
When grabbing the little guys, watch out for their heads as they get headaches easily. This is why it is a good idea to carry an asprin or two for them. One asprin goes a long way among nighties, so one or two is enough. Also, make sure they are not going to the bathroom when you grab them. If they are, let them finish first.
If you do snap one, try to close your mouth as quickly as possible. Green blood may be pretty in a flashlight beam, but it does not taste all that great. Lastly, it is permissable to be greedy. If you are lucky enough to find the neighborhood breeding grounds of nighties, don’t worry about taking too many males or females: one nighty can work it out alone. Oh, if you are interested, they don’t bite because they don’t have teeth, just lips. They will, however, try to get under your fingernails. This is the closest place to home they can find.