Hi all, (I posted most of this last night on the end of the other thread then realised no one knew it was there)
Thanks for all the words of support and understanding, no one who hasn't been in a cult can really understand it.
I didn't mention names or locations in the story so that the jw lurkers couldn't find my familly who are still in the jw's but now speak to me. Which has only happened in the last few years. It's only limited and it's not all of them but better than nothing. I'm not going to go into any further details on that score.
I many ways I was very fortunate after I left the jw's. My educational qualifications were and still are lousy. I'd left school at 14 after being to 11 of them in 9 years. Mum's answer to any problem real or imagined was to move, I couldn't tell you how many different places I lived there were so many. I was the permenant new boy at school and as the world was going to end I didn't ever do any work at school. I can't ever remember doing home work ;) My saving grace was my curiosity and computer games lol.
Back when I was 22-23 I went over to a bothers place to see a thing called a computer (Apple II+ clone) and ended up playing a game all night, I went out and brought one the next day ;) When the PC came along I brought one of those, I been a PC boy ever since. So when the company I worked for computerised I found myself moved into the EDP dept cause I knew how to spell PC and never looked back. I'm now the systems manager of the core product in Sydney of a major international company and I owe it all to a computer game. ;)
I was basically numb for the first 3 years after I left then I moved to Sydney for a job offer. Then I really let my hair down and did everything I had denied myself, all in all it was a fun time lol. I've never wanted kids and I've never married, had some girlfriends but the relationships never lasted more than a year which was usually to long for me. I've come to the conclusion that I'm a bit of a loner by nature, I keep a few close friends and that's enough for me. I like being able to do what I like when I like and not have to answer to anyone. I've been in a pseudo (FWB) relaitionship for the last few years which is perfect for both of us.
I was very angry with my family for a very long time and it poisioned everything in my life, having a very high stress job at the same time didn't help either. Then about 8 years ago I was retrenched and walked away with a years pay. I decided to take an extended vaction and de-stress, it was at this point I wrote a very long letter to my family explaining exactly what had happened and why I had left the org then I told them what I thought of their actions and how they had no clue what real love was and then told them to f k off. I really enjoyed writing that letter ;) From then on I got better, I accepted what had happened and largely moved on. When I returned to work 18 months later I was working with some of the guys that I had previously and every one of them came up to me an remarked what a changed person I was - "Your actually nice". That made me laugh.
Thanks for readiing. I had thought of doing this years ago when I first found this site but couldn't bring myself to do it. Actually reading this site was painful to me and I've stayed away from it and other like it. I've been pleasantly suprised to find the experience enjoyable and maybe even mildly cathartic. I think my journey out is complete.
Till lata stay safe all
Gemmel