THE WITCHTOWER - bound volumes 2009 and 2010 now available! Revised version!

by processor 8 Replies latest social humour

  • processor
    processor

    Hi folks,

    all issues of The Witchtower are now available as "bound volumes" with bookmarks. Also, lots of typos have been corrected.

    Download the 2009 volume here:

    http://www.svhelden.info/pdf/Witchtower_2009.zip

    Covered topics:

    • A donation of Miracle Wheat
    • A fine example for elders
    • Abraham - A faithful servant of Jehovah
    • Advance in knowledge about Jesus Christ
    • Advertisement: Find the right partner now
    • Are Jehovah's Witnesses the true religion?
    • Are you ready to fight for the sanctification of Jehovah's name?
    • Bacteria and parasites glorify Jehovah
    • Bringing order into Jehovah's household
    • Carnival Celebrations - How important for Christians?
    • Celebrate Christmas worthily
    • Christians expect to be released
    • Classifieds
    • Clothing - Is it for Christians?
    • Cope with Satan's attacks - In the toilet
    • Do we support Satan's assignment?
    • Do you want to better understand your Bible?
    • Drunk on the "true vine"
    • Fight the fine fight of the faith!
    • From our readers
    • Getting to know the warrior who gives peace
    • God's judgment by "the wild beasts of the earth"
    • God's Kingdom - Present today!
    • Heavy Metal music - Is it for me?
    • How alcohol helped me to face hard times (1)
    • How can you find the true religion?
    • How to count our days the right way
    • How would you answer?
    • Important questions
    • 'Jehovah's word keeps moving speedily'
    • Keep on the watch!
    • Let us stay awake!
    • Meetings - In ancient times and today
    • Micah - Advocate of truth
    • More than just letters
    • New Year's celebrations - A Biblical tradition
    • On whose promises do you rely?
    • Peoples toiling for simply nothing
    • Presenting the Good News - At public toilets
    • Questions from readers
    • Reasoning from The Watchtower
    • Salt in God's purpose
    • Should Christians use wireless technology?
    • Snow - The white snare
    • The antitypical Pharisees
    • The Bible and Mathematics
    • The Bible's solution to poverty
    • The Bible's viewpoint: Is it wrong to be wicked?
    • The "final part of the days" for the Watch Tower Society
    • The fulfillment of the promises
    • The Internet - Satan's trap
    • The lake of fire - a symbol of everlasting destruction?
    • The Psalms - Wonderful songs to praise God
    • The sermon on the mount - A source of encouragement
    • The "Shulammite remnant" exposed
    • The ten plagues today
    • The union of the two towers
    • "Theocratic Court"
    • Thinking - Be aware of the dangers!
    • What do the scriptures say about abortion?
    • What will not be there in paradise
    • When will Armageddon come?
    • Who is able to stand before "the ancient of days?"
    • Who is really happy?
    • Who is the antichrist?
    • Who is the King of the North?
    • Whose death is acceptable to Jehovah?
    • Would you welcome annihilation?
    • Would you welcome disappointment?
    • Would you welcome poverty?
    • Young People Ask: Kingdom Melodies - Are they for me?
    • Young people ask: Should I use elevators?

    Download the 2010 volume here:

    http://www.svhelden.info/pdf/Witchtower_2010.zip Covered topics:

    • An event you should miss
    • Are foreign languages for Christians?
    • "Are you using the 1983 calendar"?
    • Are your ready for life in the new world?
    • Bearing children in a dangerous world
    • Become more effective in the field ministry
    • Disfellowshipping - A timeless arrangement
    • Do you faithfully support the Elisha class?
    • Do you have the mark for survival?
    • Do you make use of the head-sweating apparatus?
    • Food poisoning - Good overlooks best-before date!
    • From our readers
    • Glorify Jehovah when on vacation!
    • Godly wisdom in a scientific world
    • Gollum - Proclaimer of God's Kingdom
    • How alcohol helped me to face hard times (2 - 5)
    • How can we avoid Satan's influence?
    • How can you find the false religion?
    • How God cares for us
    • How to attain happiness
    • Imitate God's wonderful works of creation
    • Introductions for use in the field ministry
    • Is eating for Christians? If yes, which food is suitable?
    • Is marriage really a place of fiery torment?
    • Make manure of people of all the nations
    • Making your family life Biblical
    • Perfect health - How to achieve?
    • Prove yourselves to be sheep
    • Questions from readers
    • Scriptural questions answered
    • Sheet music - Is it for Christians?
    • Slavery - A blessing
    • Soccer games on TV - For you?
    • The Bible - Is it for Christians?
    • The Bible's viewpoint: Are furnaces for Christians?
    • The Bible's viewpoint: Should Christians conduct war?
    • "The end is not yet"
    • The evil spirits - Where are they?
    • The Greek gods and Jehovah
    • The modern Jeroboam class in action
    • The resurrection - A strong hope
    • The Three Magi and their modern antitype
    • The Watchtower and April 1st
    • The witness of the food pyramid
    • What does the future hold for the dog class?
    • What does the future hold?
    • What has Jesus done for mankind to date?
    • What kinds of women are suitable for Christian men?
    • Wheat or weeds - Which side are you on?
    • When will Armageddon come?
    • Which means of transportation are suitable for Christians?
    • Who are God's executional forces today?
    • Who is outside?
    • Whose agents are Jehovah's Witnesses?
    • Young people ask: The new Kingdom Songs - Are they for me?
    • Zechariah's prophecy - Light for all Jehovah's Witnesses
    As announced earlier, there will be no more regular issues of The Witchtower. However, I will post articles to http://www.svhelden.info/witchtower (not set up yet).
  • cantleave
    cantleave

    A spiritual banquet, provided at the proper time.

  • wobble
    wobble

    Thank you for your wonderful work I am amazed you were able to do it for so long and keep up the matchless standard well done !

    You gave me so many laughs, and insights into the mind control and utter rubbish that is contained in the actual Watchtower rag.

    The laughs were worth their weight in gold, fabulous stuff, and thanks again.

  • FatFreek 2005
    FatFreek 2005

    Hi Processor,

    This is the best-kept secret of WT humor collection I've seen. A tremendous amount of work on your part.

    Congratulations from all of us!!!! Len Miller.

  • Faraon
    Faraon

    It should be a requirement to read the Witchtower before being symbolized in the organization.

  • Reality79
    Reality79

    LMFAO you're crazy for this one!! Hahahahahaa!!!

    The sad thing is, it's hard to tell which is parody or the real thing......

  • poopsiecakes
    poopsiecakes

    This is some awesome stuff and now I know what my weekend plans are...

  • processor
    processor

    When you're finished with The Witchtower, Our Boredom Ministry, the Young People Bask book and the Revelation book, you can continue with the new blog: http://www.svhelden.info/witchtower/

  • Balaamsass
    Balaamsass

    LOL!!!

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