by highdose 9 Replies latest jw friends
Just recently in the past 3 years that i've been out i've noticed i'm now getting laughter and smile lines. Nothing aging but i've realised i spent the rest of my life priviously not smiling at all. People used to say to me " smile highdose!" i used to think " give me something to smile about!". I was not happy, but then there was nothing happy in my life.
Now days i'm always smiling, always laughing and always happy.
As a JW I did smile from time to time, maybe even a lot - but that was when I was new and felt I'd found 'The Truth.' In later years I felt weighed down, that real living and real happiness would come in the New System. I didn't smile much then and the smiles weren't always heartfelt. :(
Since I left I am happier and healthier - mentally and emotionally. I feel better about myself and about others: the world is no longer a place full of trouble and terrible things; I've come to see there is a lot to be positive about.
BTW, highdose, I think laughter/smile lines are quite attractive! (It's one of the many things I enjoy in my partner - seeing those pleasant crinkles around the eyes when we are laughing.) So, please take it in a positive way when I wish you many more laugh lines! :)
Maybe a smirk.
Not a smug, glad to be a JW smirk. A "you know I'm not a good JW, but can't convict me" smirk.
I hated a lot of JW life since I was a kid. I don't think anything to do with JWs made me smile. JW friends, sure. Not the beliefs or practices.
ive noticed a jw lady round town always looks so sad , but obviously puts a fake smile on when knocking on doors ! the only time i suffered depression in my life was when involved with jws for a few years !!!!! im very happy again now and free to be me witht being "immoral" !
I've always been a smiler, with or without depression. I was taught from a young age to mask my troubles from others.
I thought I was generally smiling... (actually masking troubles too), then my fiance told me recently I look much happier now, than in my old photos, I smile a lot more, and it looks much more genuine.
Goodmorning Highdose,
It's a lot easier to smile, now that all the baggage is lifted off my sagging shoulders!
clarity
I've always been a bit of a smiler, but since I have left I seem to have a permanent smile that I am not aware of, and people smile back at me, perfect strangers, and I am surprised, and then realise I must have been smiling !
I am so happy since we left my face is permanently wrinkled up !
Mind you, its a good job I smile, gives the old visage a bit of a lift, otherwise I look like Bagpuss.
I've always been a bit of a smiler,
Me too. I remember people always commenting on it when I was a kid, but I didn't really understand how that made me different. The thing is, I've had much sadness in my life, but the smiles were never fake. I just find that from one second to the next, I find a thing or two to smile about, and it's sincere, but not necessarily a reflection of my predominant mood.
That said, I went shopping yesterday and was overcome with such good feeling! The people I smiled at were not horrible and godless on the edge of distruction. The books I looked at weren't a sign of how awful things had become. The tatoos, the piercings, the odd hairdos just weren't proof of the end. Individuals all---and I didn't need to judge any of them. It felt wonderful.
I ended up in conversations with people, without the "witness screen" that I usually felt, THEM vs ME. I made several strangers laugh, and it felt really good. I caused a disturbance for everyone else when we couldn't get waited on. LOL But I did it in a joking manner cuz I didn't have to think to myself. "Look, this system is so awful, people don't even know how to render services anymore!" Nope. It was much simpler than that. They simply weren't doing their job, and I pointed it out to the delight of other customers. No hostility.
I like not being separate anymore. Of course, dubs will reason that the world loves me cuz the world loves its own. There will always be a way for them to interpret it negative. In the mean time, my smiles feel even better than usual.
People used to say to me " smile highdose!" i used to think " give me something to smile about!".
This was my own experience, verbatim, many times. My mother's too. I wonder if they learn that in elder school.
W
