What do you think being in-love is?

by cognac 6 Replies latest jw friends

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  cognac

  I'm kinda thinking its an illusion and something thats doesn't necessarily mean forever unless there is such thing as a soulmate. Something that probably means something different to everybody. For example, some people think to be in-love means to be completely exclusive. Some want to be able to explore different things like 3-somes and still feel they could be still in-love with each other.

  Some people think it involves a lot of romance while others feel like its more being best friends. So, what are your opinions?
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  Cthulhu

  One could similarly ask "what does it mean to be happy?" One would be met with a vast array of answers as to how others have found happiness, but the feeling that is being sought would probably be univerally similar. I should think that love is similar. Due to individual personalities, some find love and can still be swingers, dungeon masters, mutually exculsive, or any number of other things that some others would find appealing and still others would be repulsed by. I think one must first know oneself before the answer to such an important question can be found.
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  jamiebowers

  For me it is being just as happy with my husband doing mundane things as I am when doing romantic things.
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  flipper

  JAMIEBOWERS , good comment ! I agree.

  COGNAC- In my opinion being in love with somebody involves accepting your loved one for who they are and them accepting YOU for who you are as a person. It's a give and take relationship with both parties giving 100 % and if the other partner is depressed being willing to go the extra mile if that one can only give 60% . Being there for somebody emotionally, mentally, physically, sexually, and THEM being there for you in the same way. It's a combination thing of being best friends AND romantic lovers as well. And a great sense of humor is a MUST between partners.

  I'm on my 3rd marriage and it's MUCH better than my first 2 were. There is much more acceptance , more give and take, more humor , better sex in a more sensitive loving way, more laughter, and more moral & emotional support between BOTH of us. If BOTH parties are as committed as each other to the relationship it will work, if one is NOT as committed to the relationship - it may work for AWHILE , but not on a long term basis resulting in happiness for both people. Just my take in the briefest to the point way I can make it
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  VampireDCLXV

  What do you think being in-love is?

  Something that's probably beyond my reach... *sigh*

  V665
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  flipper

  COGNAC- My wife and I watched the movie " Wedding Crashers " tonight. One of our favorites. In one scene Owen Wilson tells Rachel McAdams what true love is. He says, " True love is your soul's recognition of it's counterpoint in another person. " I've always liked that saying
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  EmptyInside

  That's a good quote flipper. I agree.

  There are certain people we just click with,and some are friends,but sometimes there is that unexplainable spark that tells you there is something else there.

  I think there are different stages of love,the infatuation stage,where you have butterflies in your gut, and your heart races when the phone rings and you know it's them.

  Then, there is the stage where things have settled down a bit,and you are really getting to know the other person. It's bonding time. You're clicking on a more intellectual,and emotional level.

  And I think one of the final stages,takes awhile longer to reach,where you're comfortable with each other. And you can be in the same room,doing different things,but still feel totally connected.

  Well,I have given this a lot of thought. It takes a lot of work. And I don't believe in soul mates,which is actually good news. If there were soul mates,mine is lost somewhere. But, I feel there are many different people we can be compatible with ,some more,some less. Of course,I can figure out pretty early which ones I am definitely not compatible with.

  I would love to skip to the comfortable stage of love and save myself from all the anxiety and all the disappointments and rejection. But, it's a process. I'm happy for all those that have found love with someone special though.

  Best.