If You Wonder What Happened At Enron. . . .

by LoneWolf 3 Replies latest jw friends

  • LoneWolf
    LoneWolf

    Feudalism
    You have two cows.
    Your lord takes some of the milk.

    Fascism
    You have two cows.
    The government takes both, hires you to take care of them
    and sells you the milk.

    Communism
    You have two cows.
    You must take care of them, but the government takes all the
    milk.

    Capitalism
    You have two cows.
    You sell one and buy a bull.
    Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
    You sell them and retire on the income.

    Enron
    You have two cows.
    You borrow 80% of the forward value of the two cows from
    your bank, then buy another cow with 5% down and the rest
    financed by the seller on a note callable if your market cap
    goes below $20B at a rate 2 times prime. You now sell three
    cows to your publicly listed company, using letters of
    credit opened by your brother-in-law at a 2nd bank, then
    execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer
    so that you get four cows back, with a tax exemption for
    five cows. The milk rights of six cows are transferred via
    an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by
    the majority shareholder who sells the rights to seven cows
    back to your listed company. The annual report says the
    company owns eight cows, with an option on one more and this
    transaction process is upheld by your independent auditor
    and no Balance Sheet provided with the press release that
    announces that Enron as a major owner of cows will begin
    trading cows via the Internet site COW (cows on web).

    I am sure you now fully understand what happened.

    Wish I was the author!

    LoneWolf

  • LittleToe
    LittleToe

    Dubism
    You have two cows.
    You sell them both to further the interests of the borg.
    You give a good chunk of the proceeds to the borg to clear your conscience of the literature that you have been "freely" given to distribute.
    You live off the remaining proceeds until you realise that you have become empoverished.
    You see the two cows that you previously owned die, even though "Million's now living..."
    You find that the "milk of the word" that you have been force fed has gone decidedly sour.
    The final straw comes when the latest magazines indicate that it is all your fault that you took the borg's words so literally, when there really must have been a symbolic meaning that eluded you.

  • cellomould
    cellomould

    Very good stuff...

    but why are you guys picking on cows?

    ex:
    Hindu Caste system

    You are a rich entrepreneur
    You buy a lush piece of land
    Two environmental problems though:

    1. Marshland
    2. Water buffalo (an endangered species in India) have been grazing there for countless years

    You turn it into a strip mall anyhow
    In your next life,
    Guess how you are reincarnated?

    Is that you there?

    No, you're the fly on the buffalo's ass about to get swatted by that fat tail!

    How's that for karma?

    cellomould

    "In other words, your God is the warden of a prison where the only prisoner is your God." Jose Saramago, The Gospel According to Jesus Christ

  • sf
    sf

    Just passing this around at the "table":

    < http://www.google.com/search?q=cache:W-wV5Yp4L_8C:www.paperevents.com/pfpo/attendee_00.pdf+enron+executive+watchtower&hl=en

    Not sure what "WATCHTOWER" "is".

    sKally

    If man was supposedly created in gods image, then.....holy krap...we're all doomed.-sKallyWagger

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