I realise that you are between a rock & a hard place. But I strongly urge you to take stock of your situation & leave the Watchtower religion behind if you really do disagree with it's policies.
You see, I and many others have been in that place. Attending meetings, preparing talks & going out in field service while knowing all the time that the religion wasn't right.
The Watchtower religion fulfills prophecy when you see how Jehovah's Witnesses show 'no natural affection' in the following circumstances:
- Shunning parents/children/lifelong friends because someone leaves or disagrees with the religion
- Hundreds of individuals commit suicide because of being shunned by their friends/relatives
- Allowing young mothers to die because of the extreemly flawed & unscriptural blood doctrine
I dedicate this song to you.
The lyrics which follow are extreemly poignant:
"And if there ever comes a time, guns & gates no longer hold you in, and if you're free to make a choice"................