Old freind from old jw life, trying to get in touch...

highdose

i happened to access my old email address today. Amongst the many spams etc was a email from a old jw freind i used to know when i was in. This was a nice freind to me, right up until she got herself a boyfreind and then just didn't want to know, in fact i hadn't heard from her since. Didn't even get an invite to the wedding!

I looked her up on facebook ( yes shes on facebook) and yes there she is getting happily married in classic JW style at a really crappy comunity hall! All the other people i used to know in that time are her facebook freinds ( yes they are all on facebook). It was creepy and quiet distrubing to "see" them all again.

Now apart from going awol on me this was a nice person and we were good freinds. But if i got back in touch with her it would mean an end to my sucessful fade completly. And call me a cynic but i can't help but wonder if the reason also might be because i now live in a popular holiday destination. I've already had several JW's contact me via my old email asking if i could put them up etc.

My old freind is not the kind of JW whose CD could be broken, shes extremly stupid ( sorry but she is its true) and i don't think i could be in touch with her without starting to tell her what i now know about the JW's. She on the other hand would be asking " Whats your congregation like?", " whats the minisrty like over there?" , "have you met any nice brothers?" etc etc you know the rules...

Please don't think i'm being horrible calling this woman stupid, but she was, in conversation you could not make a statement to her with having to go back and explain it, at least twice before she finaly finaly got it!!

MrFreeze

Sometimes you gotta call it like you see it. She probably has been thinking about you and maybe feels bad she deserted you. I'd say give it a shot.

EmptyInside

Well,you could always drop a line and say hello,but leave it at that. Maybe she wants out now,you never know. But,just be cautious,as you said,you don't want to ruin a successful fade.

sleepingbeauty

Test the water and see what she wants. Explain how lovely things are and then let her get to the punchline. This way you can then choose to ignore her if she's just after a free holiday !!!

highdose

yes or it could be that the "happy bloom" has now worn off the marriage. Shes realised that marrying a manic depressive who has had such a major drug problem in the past that hes now brain damaged, was not such a good idea, even though at the time she swore that it would be fine(!)

And of course theres the factor that the guy hadn't had a job in years when she met him, she was earning barely peanuts, and by the time they got married he still wasn't earning. Somehow that didn't worry her either!

Will she really want to hear that i'm earning a packet? having a wonderful life? and am happier than i've ever been and all because i've given up "the truth" tm?

NewChapter

Eeks. It sounds like it could really ruin your fade. And you won't be able to talk about anything with her. And you'll have to listen to all the JW news, and you'll have to withstand or dodge her questions. Can you just say you've been inactive and leave it at that? Will she try and get involved and call your elders?

It's up to you, but I'm not sure how you will benefit from the contact. She dropped you when she had a boyfriend, didn't invite you to the wedding etc. Think about what you stand to gain from the friendship, and what the price would be. If the stakes are too high, stay away. If you're willing to take a chance, go for it.

Those were my 2 minas. Take 'em for what they are worth.

NC

breathing

i agree with NC, what have you got to lose vs what would you gain,

i have limited contact with some jws but i visit them, never never let them into my life at my end, i just wouldnt risk it cos however much they life you, they will probably be too scared to not rat on you if they found something out that was aginst their Rooooooles

i know its tempting, i am tempted cos i really had som lovelylifelong friends in it who i still miss sooo much, but just be careful,

nugget

this is very simple. Ignore the message let it go if she comes to visit and she discovers you are fading then your fade is over. From your comments it would appear that you are in totally different places mentally and that at present contact with her would not be of benefit to you. In purely callous terms you have moved on she is rooted in your past.

looloo

had a old jw friend recently contact me on facebook, i thought she must have ecscaped the cult as i know she was doing xmas things ! i moaned about the shunning etc .. i got a standard dull jw response , robot like ! i didnt even bother to reply to that one ! i left town for a reason and left my past behind i dont need reminding of it ! dont bother contacting your friend , she will just irritate you , you have moved on and are happy and im sure she will live happy ever after with her "wonderfull " hubby just like my jw friend whos hubby has already been forgiven by her for 2 affairs in the last year !

Old freind from old jw life, trying to get in touch...

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