Some friends sent me a couple of jokes and I wanted to share
The first one....
Two bored casino dealers were waiting at a craps table. A very
attractive blonde woman arrived and bet twenty thousand dollars
on a single roll of the dice.
She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when
I'm completely nude."
With that she stripped from her neck down, rolled the dice and
yelled, "Mama needs new clothes!"
Then she hollered..."YES! YES! I WON! I WON!" She jumped up and
down and hugged each of the dealers.
She then picked up all the money and clothes and quickly
departed.
The dealers just stared at each other dumbfounded.
Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?"
The other answered, "I don't know, I thought YOU were
watching!"
Moral: Not all blondes are dumb, but all men are men.
The Second One...
Jesus and The Redneck
An Irishman with a bad leg hobbled into a restaurant one
afternoon. He painfully sat down at a booth and asked the waitress for a cup of coffee. The Irishman looked across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus over there?". The waitress nodded so the Irishman told her to give Jesus a cup of coffee too. The next patron to come in was an Englishman with a hunched back. He shuffled over to a booth and asked the waitress for a glass of hot tea. He also glanced across the restaurant and asked "Is that Jesus over there?". The waitress nodded so the Englishman said to give Jesus a cup of hot tea too. The third patron to come into the restaurant was a Redneck. He swaggered over to a booth, sat down and hollered "Hey there sweet thing, hows about gettin me a cold glass of Coke!". He too looked across the restaurant and asked "Is that God's boy over there?". The waitress nodded so the Redneck said to give Jesus a cold glass of coke too. As Jesus got up to leave. He passed by the Irishman and touched him and said "For your kindness, you are healed. The Irishman felt the strength come back into his leg and got up and danced a jig out the door. Jesus then passed by theEnglishman, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The English man felt his back straightening up and he raised up his hands,praised the Lord and did series of back flips out the door. Then Jesus walked towards the Redneck. The Redneckjumps up and yells, "Hey man don't touch me......I'm drawin'disability!!!!!"
Skipper