freeing my nephews

I was a JW until age 20. Now, 20 years later I am just now researching these beliefs as an adult with an open mind and not through the belief system crammed down my throat as a child. I have pushed this down for years and as the memories of how I was raised come back, my biggest concern is how can I possible free my nephews from the strong grasp the JW's have on them. At the same time, I do not want to alienate myself from my Mom and Sisters. Our relationship is already very precarious.

This is my first ever post on any website. Any suggestions would be great.

Ding

Welcome!

I'd recommend that if you still trust the Bible, read the New Testament on its own without WT materials. Pray for understanding.

Read Crisis of Conscience by Ray Franz. If you can't have a copy and can't get one through your library system, I think you can order one through freeminds.org.

Those are great ways to start.

If you are interested in exploring a particular non-WT point of view such as evangelical Protestantism or Roman Catholicism or whatever, let us know and anyone on the website who has gone that route can PM you. You get PMs you double clicking on the envelope in the upper right corner of the screen.

As far as your family is concerned, it would help us if you can give a little more info. How old are your nephews? How does your family view you now? Are you disassociated or disfellowshipped or did you just fade away from the organization.

What, if anything, have you tried with them in the past and how have they responded?

jamiebowers

How old are your nephews? If they're still minors, just do fun things with them. Give them a view of the world that doesn' include Armageddon right around the corner. If they're adults, try Steven Hassan's techniques in Combatting Cult Mind Control.

Scarlouie

My nephews are 13 and 18. They are pretty immersed. Both Dads are elders and my sisters are very active.

My family and I no longer discuss religeon at all, I have tried very little at this point out of fear of loosing my family all together. But I recently have felt a need to try and save my nephews and am lost at what to do.

I attend a methodist church periodically and have started reading the old testament on my own, I would describe myself as spiritual on my best day and agnostic on my worst day. I feel better when I go to church, so I go to church sometimes. I defnitely do not believe everything I hear there, but get much more out of it than a KH.

Thansk for the reading recommendations.

Scarlouie

I just faded away from "The Truth".

Quandry

Welcome.

I agree with Jamie. If you come on strong, your family members will keep your nephews from having contact with you. If you are a loving uncle and assure your nephews that you are always there for them, they may come to you in the future with concerns about the witnesses. Ask about their achievements and tell them you are proud of them. Tell them how smart they are, and that you have high hopes for their success in the future. They may have little encouragement from their family about their school achievements, as the witnesses discourage "higher education."

Patience is called for.

Gayle

I may have missed it if you are the uncle or aunt. I think mainly to see that you can just be a friend to the nephews. Try not to disrupt that at this point. One day at a time thing. Percentages could be that one or two of them may need a friend to open up their honesty of heart to safely. If you go too quickly, radically, they may fear that too much. They may fear a double jeopardy to lose. Go slowly with your help.

Broken Promises

I'm in a similar situation so I can relate.

Main thing is to establish a close bond with your nephews. Be the kind and loving uncle/aunt who is there for them when they need a hearing ear.

If they know that they can come to you without being judged, or rat them out to their parents for minor infractions, they will trust you and possibly tell you their true feelings about the JWs. The majority of teenagers hate being JWs so although outwardly your nephews may look like they are "in", possibly mentally they are out, or close to it.

Don't bring up doctrines or general JW talk. Let them bring up the subject. If you MUST, speak about the JWs in a general, non-critical sense. Perhaps talk about how things were when you were their age as a JW.

It is difficult because your sisters have the right to raise their children in the religion of their choice, so there is little you can do there. However, show by example that living as a nonJW doesn't mean that you'll be a drug-using, drunkard, lowlife who makes Charlie Sheen look like an alter boy.

Hope this helps.

Scarlouie

Very good advice so far. I am for sure the fav uncle; we do fun stuff, but it is hard due to our distance apart. I moved several states away when I left the JW faith. I have purchased several of the books recommended and will continue to educate myself. My family will not let the boys stay wiht me for long periods without one of "adults" around; even though I take them to all of the meetings per their request. I do see a lot of similarities between what they are going through as young boys and how I felt at the same age. I def see some openings here and there that I can softly insert some free thinking.

It amazes me how organized the ex JW's are. This forum is great and I can think of lots of new topics I want to review. Thanks so much for the help.

freeing my nephews

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