Anxiety (the Blanket) Fear (the Root)

by Voices 5 Replies latest jw friends

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  Voices

  Anxiety (like many others) is like a Security blanket. When I do meditation...the anxiety leaves, but this vulnerbility takes over, and this huge amount of FEAR developes.

  When it comes to my relationship I am deeply insecure and affraid of abandonment. there is this anxiety that perpetuates over and over and over again. And that is, 'the moment you stop worrying about her not leaving you, it'll happen.' And then it's backed up by everyone saying 'yeah that's usually what happens with life, the moment you stop worrying about something, it ends up happening.' So i keep the anxiety...to keep the girl.

  this also reflects my spirituality. Anxiety and fear. When i do the 'right thing' and start getting back 'on the path' ..by doing communion and other things, there is this HUGE anxiety of having to do EVERYTHING perfectly, EVERYTHING correctly. If i don't......GOD and/or HIS SON will 'punish me!' with pain...emotional pain or I will loose out on something extremely important that i will later get told 'you didn't have to let that go..i didn't tell you.' There is also this 'fear of failure thing' ....where everything needs to be done right or i'm a failure..Logically it makes sense that this is NOT the case, but emotionally...this is what happens. So the moment i STOP doing communion, the anxiety is aleviated...at least from the 'gotta be perfect' thing in my spirituality. This perpetuates the 'don't do communion because bad things will happen'...remember 'the moment you stop worrying about something, it'll end up happening.'

  Does anyone else feel this way? have felt this way in their own self deelopment? If so, how did you conquor it?
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  Voices

  =( no one responded
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  nolongerwaiting

  Sorry, I didn't know what to say and my head is muddled because I am sick at the moment. **cough cough** I'm crap at offering advice too. :) I do know what you mean by being worried when something good happens. I worry about that but so far nothing bad has happened that I thought would. Sometimes I think I wouldn't have certain worries that I have if I had been raised different. I think about all the things that I am thankful for and try to just enjoy each day.

  NLW's wife
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  DanaBug

  Voices,

  Maybe therapy would help you with the anxiety. I can relate iin a way. I'm an avoider. I'm petrified of reaching out to do anything I might succeed at, if that makes any sense. I think it's still in the back of my head that I'm supposed to fail out here. So I get stuck in this circle where I'm scared to do anything and then I fail because I put it off and so I feel more depressed because I'm a failure, which makes me not want to do anything about it again. Ugh. Yeah, I need therapy too.

  As for your relationship, what I've seen is what you fear ends up happening simply because you expect it too. It comes out in how you talk to and treat her. No one likes to be doubted all the time. Do you really have a valid reason to think she might leave you besides just being scared of it? So again, I recommend therapy; someone you could talk to and work out the root cause and help you deal with it.

  I suck at advice too, yet another reason to see a professional, lol! I hope you try it though, it helped my sister out a lot.
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  TheJigsUp

  voices... that door swings both ways in truth as i see it now.

  i saw it exactly as you did just not so long ago.

  i'll be honest, im starting to thing maybe she needs to hold up her end of the relationship also.

  but if shes gonna screw me over better sooner than later.

  i love her sincerely, but i have serious trust issues...

  i wonder if its to do with

  YOUR WHOLE FUCKIN BELIEF SYSTEM BEING PULLED OUT FROM UNDER YOU

  so well see.

  but yeh i totally sympathise.
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  Satanus

  There are different kinds of meditation. The one where you step back to become strictly an observer, in that place, you niether cause nor prevent anything from happening. That means that the anxiety that you feel, by which feeling you feel that you are preventing the bad from happening, you detach from that, also. In that place, the benevolent subconscious, the community of the human subconscious can carry out it's good to you. In that place, you will not prevent the good from happening by sabotaging it.

  Remember that, through the subconscious, others are giving you good or bad, as you desire subconsciously. If you step into a neutral state, you invite no bad stuff. Since the human subconscious is benevolent, it can therefore deliver you good stuff. That's how it seems to work for me, anyway.

  S