Hi Gang-
We had an interesting day yesterday. My wife was snowed in so she stayed home from work yesterday. (I live within walking distance of the University where I teach so I had to work yesterday). I guess my wife was bored so she called her mother. My mother-in-law and father-in-law are active JWs. She was a pioneer for years and he is still an elder.
My wife and I left the JWs back in 1996 we attend another church now and I teach chemistry at a University that is run by the Lutheran Church Missouri Synod. In any case, many years ago, we told my wife's parents that we no longer considered ourselves JWs and that we were not going to live our lives in that way anymore. I told my parents the same thing. This resulted in my folks pretty much shunning me except on special occasions (which means when they are in front of non-JW relatives they treat me like their son otherwise I am pretty much ignored.).
However, my in-laws have continued to keep in touch with us. They come and visit us and we go and visit them. We stay off the religion subject as much as possible and things go rather smoothly. Of course we live half a continent away from them. My wife and I live in Nebraska and they live in Pittsburgh, PA.
Last summer my wife's niece, her name is Amber, who is 15 years old came and spent part of her summer vacation with us. We had a blast with her and she had a blast with us. My wife's sister, her name is Lori, (who is Amber's mother) loved the fact that we connected with her daughter. Lori never became a JW and often felt like the JWs took her sister and her mother from her. We told Lori many years ago that we had left the JWs so now we send her children Christmas and birthday gifts etc. Well, when Amber was here last summer she invited us to spend Christmas with her family. Lori LOVED the idea. So, last month my wife and I spent a week doing fun Christmas things with Lori and her family.
Lori was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO happy. It was the first time that she had people on her side of the family do the holidays with her since 1979. Lori went all out for us. Her family treated us SOOOOOOOOOOO well. We had a blast. They even invited us back for Christmas next year.
While we were there, Lori's mother-in-law, her name is Dot was also there. Dot really treats Lori well and in many respects is more of a mother to Lori than Lori's own mother.
In any case, one evening while we were at Lori's house, Lori and Dot were talking to my wife and they were asking questions about our exit from the JWs. I was eventually pulled into the discussion and they asked all kinds of deep theological questions and such. We were honest and told them of our disagreements with the JWs and told them what we believe in now. Lori was shocked and our experiences and comments as was Dot.
Well, I suppose that is enough context to tell you all about what happened yesterday.
My wife, who was snowed in yesterday, called her mother. During their conversation her mother told her that she had something that she wanted to talk about. My mother-in-law told my wife that it was okay that she was not a JW but that if she ever heard that my wife or me were speaking negatively about the JWs that she would take it as a personal attack on her. This discussion lead into all kinds of things about the JWs. My wife tried to share some of the information with her mother about how the Society lies etc. but my mother-in-law did not want to hear any of it. During the conversation, my mother-in-law wanted to know what my status with the organization is, as to whether I had ever been Dfed or reproved. My wife said no, but that I had DAed myself almost 6 years ago. My mother-in-law then said that she now understood why my parents shun me. I guess the conversation went on for about two hours.
My wife seems to think that some of what we talked about with Dot and Lori got back to my mother-in-law. She also believes that my mother-in-law's comments to her were a threat that if my wife and I keep talking about the JWs that they will shun us too. I wonder if I will be allowed to stay at their home now when we visit in Pittsburgh. That ought to be interesting.
In any case, that is what happened to us yesterday.
Jeff S.