How to spot a witness.
Here is a guide that has been compiled by some of the best minds in the field of witnessology.
First some important notes.
Witnesses are not as rare as you might think.
Professer I.M.Great says,
"if you know what you are looking for you might be able to spot several in one day.
I must warn you though that it is considered dangerous to aproach a witness it is best to keep your distance and observe , maybe with the aid of binoculars."
If they approach you in a street don't panic,do your best to avoid eye contact and walk straight on.If they call on your house don't be tempted to answer the door just relax and carry on with what you are doing .They may knock several times , don't give in to the desire to open the door eventually they will leave , be warned though they will be back another day.
Signs to look for. likley hood of being witness
You get a knock on the door
and its not double glazing 10/10
Anyone cleaning windows. 8/10
They are always wearing a
suit,(that was in
fashion, 10 years ago),
even to go mountain climimg 9/10
Standing on street corner
(But not wearing mini skirt.) 7/10
You tell a rude joke,
( which you think is very funny)
they go bright red and don't laught. 8/10
A good looking lady starts work
in your office , she always wears
flowery dresses .When you ask her out
there is silence ( as she says silent
prayer)she tells you dateing is only
for those intending to marry and only
in the lord. 9/10
You mention an event on the news
to your work mate.The next day you
find a pile of watchtowers on you desk
procaiming the end of the world. 9/10
You wish them a merry christmas.
After half an hour trying to get away
from their tirade on the evils of
christmas you think of a better place
to put that christmas craker. 9/10
Your child comes home from school
and says his friend Randy can't come
to his birthday party as he might
get his head cut off be evil pagans.
(You cancel the head cutting ceromany
you had planned) 8/10
You are out for a day in the
country side you see a group of people
singing songs about God around the
barbecue.(There are no tambourines)
When you ask them to keep it down they
procailm they must obey god as ruler
rafer than men.You discover beer is
excellent at putting out fires. 8/10
These are just a few of the signs.
You may want to mention some more.