by Star tiger 6 Replies latest social current
Hi everyone,
Why do feel I need validation, that no matter what good deeds I perform, I work as a care assistant for the elderly I've never felt that I am a good man, that the Jehovah's witnesses would say that now I not part of their organization that I am a bad person, I only require a feeling that I on the right track to help people, it seems sad to me that more help I provide for the less able I feel worthless, I would appreciate your comments!
The Star Tiger
The JW's are the last place I would go for validation that I'm a good person.
All you need to do is talk to the elderly you care for. I'm sure they appreciate your sacrifices and would be a better place to go for validation.
You need validation because you don't believe in yourself. You need the self confidence to be able to tell yourself that you're a good person.
So, you rely on others for your self validation.
Write a list of all your positive attributes, and all the good things you do (eg all the ways you help the elderly). Look at the list and think, is this the type of person I'd like as a friend? If the answer is yes, then you're a good person.
Be kind to yourself.
Star Tiger, you need to look inside yourself. Take an honest look at who you are, what you want in life, and what principles you have founded yourself upon.
And you need to start to truly love yourself. You need to forgive yourself if you are feeling guilty or badly about something. Start with these things and go forward from there.
Yep. Whatever it is you are looking for, you can't earn it, and no-one can give it to you- it is inside you. You are the only one who will ever be Star tiger, so be content with just being you.
You can't rely on praise from other people- they may have their own reasons to flatter or damn you. Your boss may say you're doing a great job, but maybe he is underpaying you , and hopes that with some flattery you won't complain.
Try some self-affirmation: put a note on your mirror that says: Star tiger is o.k.
You'll know if you are a good person by the response you get from people generally. It's amazing how humans can tell, without needing a guidebook, whether someone is nice or not, whether or not they can depend on them, whether or not they are loyal to what is decent and beneficial to themselves and others.
I like that!
alias (the mirror)
P.S. I agree with the needed inner work that makes each of us feel validated, worthy, etc. To stand in our own foundation of worth and value is a beautiful thing that will radiate outward.
alias
