A few days ago I picked up a book entitled "Life Lessons for Women - 7 Essestial Ingredients for a Balanced Life." I imagine that many of us (especially ex-JWs) are on a quest to find balance and the title of this book appealed to me.
This is one of those books that challenges you to look inward and examine what who you are. No sooner had I begun reading (Pg 13) when I faced my first real challenge....the question reads: "What are 3 things I've accomplished in my life that I'm most proud of?"
I put the book down and really, really thought about that. Well, obviously, my marriage and my children. And while I can take some credit for the success and/or failure of my marriage (this Sunday is 29 years), does that really count as a personal accomplishment because it's not something that I've done on my own...neither are my children. I mean I've contributed greatly to the fact that as of this moment they are all alive, healthy and functioning, contributing members of society...but really, that's an ongoing work in progress and they each have the major credit for living up to the standards that I've asked of them. So what, really, are my personal accomplishments in life?
My next line of thought led me to the core of who I am as an adult. I do believe in giving credit where credit is due and I've always given credit to the WBTS for helping mold me into the "law-abiding, non-sinning, responsibile, etc." person that I am. Which is why when faced with the undeniable evidence that the WBTS was NOT what I thought it was, I felt the crisis of choice. The choice of to continue associating with the organization and now be complicit in the untruths or to walk away after 35 years - and do so while holding my head up, proud of the decision (really the only one I could live with) to separate from the hypocrisy.
My first acknowledged accomplishment was being strong enough to leave!