the pain inside me (a poem)

toribabe

The pain inside me is often very strong
Because there is much, that’s so very wrong
The hurt comes from the those that claim they love
A claim that’s false, God knows above
“We are in the truth,” that is their claim
But that’s a lie to their very own shame
And when you prove it, with scripture equipped
They will reject you, you’ll be disfellowshipped
That’s when they tear many families apart,
They do it by shunning, their specialist art
Their so called love suddenly turns to hate
As married ones start loathing their mate
Children do no more honor their father & mother
Family members turn against one another
Apostates they scream, Apostates they shout
And appeals to reason and mercy they flout
Some of the Lords most faithful they have expelled
Oh, what inner pain, what deep sorrow is felt
They are apostates, they’re evil, they cry
Thereby adding more slander to their vicious lie
They are the “Faithful Slave” and provide the food for you
They demand that you eat and digest what is mostly not true
They watch from the tower and print it in word
But their false dates and prophesies are absurd
“We print and print, you go from house to house “ they say
And their ever-changing teachings cause only dismay
“We are the ‘Governing Body’ you must obey” they proclaim
To rule the world from heaven is their sinister aim
But the kingdom of heaven they shut up before men
They filled the number, they say, and now no one goes in
They decide all of this in Jehovah God’s name
But God’s son Christ Jesus will expose their great shame
He’ll say, “I never knew you, get away from me
You’re workers of lawlessness, it’s plain to see”
Then their wailing and gnashing of teeth will begin
Too late, too late, to recover from evil and sin
As “goats” they’ll be judged and off to destruction
In Christ’s Kingdom of love the sheep find satisfaction
He’ll wipe the tears of many faces so sore
The pain inside me will be no more.

BERNARD

Good poem,I wrote many as a jw, when I read
them now I read how unhappy I was as a jw.
I've been out over two years now and the
pain is still inside of me too.I just try to
be thankful how God allowed me to experience
an awakening of the difference between conditional
love and unconditional love.Which would a true christian
practice ? Take care

toribabe

Well actually it was a friend of mine who wrote this poem, I entered it because i thought it covered all what the JW organisation stands for.

belbab

Toribabe,

In my JW daze, many years ago, I too bared my self naked by writing my thoughts and feelings in poems. I did not keep copies, and can only remember bits and pieces. Even some of those who received my poems did not keep copies and if they did I would never know. Here's an excerpt that I remember in part:

Take me where the music is
The laughter and the singing.
Take me where the music is
Where bells of spring are ringing.....

Too long has ruled the icy gloom
Too long the darkness mouldy,
Too long has frozen winter gripped
And icy winds blown coldly

As the moth seeks candly flame
The bee, the taste of honey
Take me where the music is,
Where life is warm and sunny......

The taste of honey for the bee
For me... the candle flaming
When frail wings of hope are burnt
I crawl away heart paining,

I crawl away heart paining.

belbab

toribabe

You don't like me very much do you?

belbab

Hi Tori,

You posted: You don't like me very much do you?

I am uncertain, whether the above comment is for me or someone else. If the question is for me, then, No, I don't just like you, rather, I have a very deep affection for you, as well as for every other person who has endured within the WT organization.

belbab

DakotaRed

Excellent poem, Tori, thank you for posting it. It describes to a tee what I sometimes feel.

As far as not liking you, I doubt it was addressed to me, but I am starting to see many comments like that here. I'm beginning to think that we allow our pain from the org. to spill over to some posters here. Remember, please, we are here mostly sharing each others pain and venting our own frustrations and ill feelings. All of us are being shunned and mostly for no good reason. Just misguided brainwashings from the Watchtower, making "friends" think they are upholding God's words by cutting out decent honest hearted ones.

They hurt us all enough to make us leave, then continue the hurt after we are gone by making what we thought were friends turn against us, even our own families. They leave us feeling so empty and abused and with a large void in our lives where a religion used to be, a faith that was shaken to it's very core, by the Watchtower.

It is easy to transfer that hurt to others in an effort to lessen it, but rest assured, I don't dislike anyone here, even the dubs that wish to condemn us. Mostly, I feel sorry for them, they haven't opened their eyes.

If you, or any others feeling unloved here, ever need a big brother or uncle type with big shoulders to cry on, just email me, I will listen.

Hold your head up and don't let them get you down, I sincerely believe that most are here to help each other deal with that pain and suffering we all feel.

If God's Spirit is filling a Kingdom Hall, how is it that Satan can manuever the ones within that Kingdom Hall at the same time?

toribabe

belbab and i are just sorting out our feelings for eachother, i wasn't trying to vernt any feelings, although i hate everything that The watch tower stands for, i want to throttle it.

but i do want to get some facts straight, i was never a member of that cult. But my long term boyfriend is, and his parents are elders, they are coniving, mean, selfish, controlling indivituals, and most of their friends are hipocrits, They brag about knowing greek, if they truly knew what the greek translations said, they are lying either way. They claim to do if they don't, makes them liers. They truly know the true tranlations, and are lying to alot of people to keep them under their control.

they make my blood boil.

DakotaRed

You are describing some things I loathe about the org, Tori.

1. Only the Dad can be an elder. However, many wives set themselves up as "elderettes" thinking their husbands status gives them some special insight.

2. Translations of the Greek are open to interpretation, all modern scholars are in disagreement about what was meant. The Greek used two thousand years ago isn't spoken today. To claim you know the Greek from them is folly, to me. Some scholars have spent their entire life learning ancient Greek, but since it is so old, personal bias comes into play, giving us thousands of Bible translations. For a JW to make that claim is ludicrous, since the org discourages higher learning.

3. Conniving, mean selfish, controlling hypocrits are hardly restricted to the JWs, but many seem to have made great advances in perfecting it.

4. I have found that reading the Bible and trying to look at it from a Jewish perspective, since the writers were Jewish, gives it a different light. It also makes more sense to me. However, since it has been translated so much and had so much personal bias entered into it, I doubt we will ever know what was truly intended by the writers, today. That doesn't make it ununderstandable, just more difficult.

I am beginning to believe the main thrust of the Bible is to love your brother and neighbor and a whole lot of other thngs have been added from the earliest writings that confuse that message. (just my personal thoughts). Remember, what we have as a Bible today was originally set up and decided as inspired writings by the early Catholic Church. Who really knows what other writings have been lost or spirited away?

I find most religions are controlling by nature, threatening everlasting torture or non existence if you don't conform. They miss the true meaning of Christ's words with their petty arguments about hell, the cross, alcohol consumption, movies, music, so on and so on. This is why I read and study the Bible on my own and use many different translations and don't really listen to any religion. I see all of them as man made and at least somewhat cultish, some more so.

That is my personal reflections. Although amongst the worse, the Watchtower hardly is alone in their endeavor to control others.

If God's Spirit is filling a Kingdom Hall, how is it that Satan can manuever the ones within that Kingdom Hall at the same time?

patio34

Toribabe,
The poem you shared with us was very on-point. Thank you.

Pat

"It's easier to put on slippers than to carpet the world." (from "Stuart Saves His Family")

the pain inside me (a poem)

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