Handling our fear.

jean-luc picard

At the same time that I left the Borg, my whole life changed, much more than I would

ever have imagined.

I was, I admit, a little afraid. That was when I heard this song for the first time.

It inspired me to face up to my fears, and embrace the rewards for doing so.

That is why I wish to share it with you all.

“The Rose” Bette Midler.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oR6okRuOLc8&feature=related

“It's the heart afraid of breaking

that never learns to dance

It's the dream afraid of waking that never takes the chance

It's the one who won't be taken

who cannot seem to give

and the soul afraid of dying that never learns to live”.

Its ok to be afraid. But try not to let it paralyse you. Life beyond fear is wonderful.

So what helped you overcome your fears.

I have to be honest I had no fear leaving at all as Im very outgoing and always veiwed witnesses as fairweather friends. In fact I wiped my feet on my way out and never looked back. I dont think I ever truly bought in to the bs because the bible for me always brought up more questions than it answered. There were no true answers for me from scriture and less from the jws. At the time though I just thought it was a great way to live until I realised it wasnt living at all.

Yes there were some lovely people in there but the leadership is laughable and also too many bootlickers getting on. I truly saw no real love among the brothers although this was supposed to be the defining characteristic. Favouritism, nepotism and turning a blind eye to sin from elders kids just some of the stuff I found disturbing. So No i had no fear on my way out just relief.

jean-luc picard

I wasnt particularly thinking of fear of leaving the Borg.

But if you're born in, the real world can be a little daunting.

We can feel like a fish out of water.

Mad Sweeney

So what helped you overcome your fears.

Acceptance of the unknown was a big factor. Being raised knowing all the answers and then discovering that those answers are wrong, leaves one in a really uncomfortable position, struggling for new answers. But realizing that having answers isn't necessary or even very beneficial was a big breakthrough in pushing aside fear. Now rather than fear the unknown, I embrace the path of discovery.

I wish I could better articulate HOW it happened. Good friends and support here at JWN were a factor.

suenott63

I was raised from 5 years old but had A fairly high iq and was reading fluently by 4yold. My mother did'nt accept the teachings at first and taught me to question everything . Even though I( grew up within the org I never truly accepted it because I saw through the holes in many teachings and was an avid history buff. My parents divorced at 13 we drifted but more fool me i went back in my late 20s. I left again in 2004 after realising what a crop it was and after the peodo issue came out . As i said no fear leaving .

skeeter1

I was about 16 or 17 when I left. I wasn't fearful at the time. While I was raised in the Truth, my father was disfellowshipped....so I was already low on the KH A-list. My mother went to the meetings, but was only 'worried about what the others think.' I didn't identify with the other JW kids all that much. One was a terrible drunk and drove us kids to football games, brandishing a gun. I thought he was nuts. He ended up in a terrible accident. Only 1 JW kid approached me that I was making a bad decision - "It's a wild world (out there)" she said. I just wanted to go to college, and I was getting brow beat over it at the assemblies and other JW mothers. I told the elders I didn't believe in 1914. My excuse was the calculation was just too hard for the average person to understand. I didn't want to go out in service because I wasn't so sure of stuff right then. They threatened, "We'll announce it to the congregation." I was like, "Do what you need." My peer set had become the group of other advanced worldly kids, my chemistry & physics & math books & teachers, and Jeapardy. I had watched my older siblings ruin thier life with 1975 and fear. The world didn't look bad. Living in fear inside the WTS, waiting for 1975 (and it was years & years past) seemed worse.

Now, as a middle ager. I see the news and sometimes think....oh god, the childhood fears of Armeghedon kick in for a split second. Then, it quickly falls away as the knowledge I have gained about religion, the Bible, doomsday cults, brainwashing, ...., oh, and that the JWs history.

cult classic

But if you're born in, the real world can be a little daunting.

I love that song Jean Luc. JWs have the exact same experiences as the rest of the world. Most hold jobs, raise families and have more "friends" than they know what to do with. I know plenty who went to college/technical school for training. Many witnesses I know travel regularly.

So what are witnesses so afraid of? I was afraid of displeasing Jehovah and my parents. Afraid I would bring reproach on the congregation. Afraid that I would take a misstep and be punished severely. These things frightened me because I was taught that what others think about me is more important than what I think of myself.

I was taught that this "Jehovah" was a jealous god, who didn't care if I was happy or not. He only cared that I make him look good. Which is impossible, of course.

Looking my fear square in the face was key to breaking free.

wobble

My only fear was getting DF'd for apostasy, then I would have no contact with my extended family , even my 91year old mum.

That did not happen, because I took the good advice of the folks here on JWN, and when I got the 2 Elder visit they left totally perplexed, but unable to DF me.

For a long time I was very careful about what I said and did, so as not to stir anything, but now I do not care, I openly go and vote, donate blood etc. and if only one witness to what I say is there, I will speak my mind, and direct people to here and other sites where they can find out the truth about the WT.

Although a born-in, and in for 58 years, I soon got to feel normal, and part of the world that is my community.

Fear is debilitating, the more we can shrug it off the better.

jgnat

I'm a never-JW, married to one. At first I was afraid of revealing my identity openly on the board. I had visions of paranoid elders tracking me down.

Now I realize that women don't matter to the society. I have no authority in their world, therefore I am no threat.

A wisp of willow down.

I was also smart enough to be open about my involvement here with my JW hubby. He calls you my "chat bunnies".

clarity

A lot will relate to this

Handling our fear.

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