'Bizzaro' Christianity

by metatron 2 Replies latest jw friends

  • metatron
    metatron

    For the uninitiated, Superman comics had a story line about
    an alternate dimension where most everything was done wrong,
    backwards, or the opposite of whatever we do here - the Bizzaro
    world. The Bizzaro elite travel second class, not first. Their
    planet is a cube, not a sphere - and Bizzaro Superman is dumb,
    not smart.

    Anyhow, the comics never mentioned any religion that I recall
    but if they did, I think it might resemble JW's.

    Blood is sacred because it's a symbol of life, so it's more
    important than life.

    The preaching work is a vital, lifesaving work where not at
    homes are collected and almost no one is home.

    The Theocratic Ministry School teaches speaking skills that
    rarely ever get used in a mostly imaginary ministry.

    The meetings are important because they teach little and repeat
    everything.

    We practise love for our neighbors by believing that 99.9% of
    them will die at Armageddon.

    We got rid of food at the assemblies because it made us more
    united with our brothers around the world.

    We got rid of subscriptions so we can pursue the more efficient
    hand delivery method.

    We follow Jesus example by obeying egocentric, itinerant spiritual
    predators known as circuit overseers.

    We are the happiest people on earth, so we are depressed.

    We teach that the End is SOON , so we build stuff like Paterson.

    I could go on and on,
    but what can I say except

    me so happy

    metatron

  • aChristian
    aChristian

    They say children are to honor their Father and their Mother but forbid them to give their Fathers and Mothers greeting cards on Fathers Day and Mothers Day.

    They say JWs are to honor their country but forbid them to stand up at a baseball game when the National Anthem is played.

    Just thought I'd toss in a couple.

  • Satanus
    Satanus

    Jws follow jesus, but don't do any of the things he did: raise the dead, exorcise demons, fast, walk on water, feed people etc. They do what he didn't do: go door to door selling magazines.

    The good news they preach is bad news.

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