The Org is totally NOT preparing us for Armageddon. But shouldn't we be grateful for it?!?!

by Pika_Chu 5 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

• 

  Pika_Chu

  So, yeah, now we know that family worship night is essential to our survival into the new system. 'Cause Satan apparently didn't give a s**t about attacking JW families until, oh, a couple years ago. Now he suddenly feels like it. And the Borg has given us this life-saving information at the proper time! Yay!!!

  So, anyway, if the big A came in 2006, we'd all be dead. 'Cause, you know, we need to be doing this to get through it. And the GB didn't tell us this yet. So apparently a few years ago, Jah just remembered something he had forgotten for the last 6,000 years and just whispered it into someone's ears. (You know, even by the Genesis account of creation, this is a pretty long time for God to just not mention something. I mean, COME ON! That's like, 6 days, God!) For one thing, if God wanted so bad to just let people get to be his friends just so he wouldn't have to kill them (which is paradoxical in itself), why does he just wait around until the late 1800s to tell C. T. Russel some things, and every 10-30 years tell the GB/President some more stuff? Even without flip-flops, this is ridiculous. It's like the WT God has multiple personalities or something (Trinity jokes, anyone?)! It's also pretty messed up how they're SUPPOSEDLY our only real guiding light in this world, yet if Armageddon happened to come before they warned us of yet another thing we needed to keep in mind, who would REALLY be blood guilty? Would it still be our fault for not being patient or something lame like that?

  Here's a funny thought: How old is the movie Avatar? If the Big A came on, say, December 9th of 2009, who would be left alive after God killed everyone for watching a "demonic" movie?

  Here's another one: How long has it been since the latest generation change? What if Armageddon happened before, during, or just after they printed and distributed that mag? Would all the people who didn't read that one be destroyed? 'Cause belief is totally the basis of salvation. That's why Mormon's are gonna die in Armageddon. They only got it 90% right on the doctrines. That's why EVERYONE in Christendom is gonna die; they only have it right when it comes to things which agree with Watchtower magazines. Silly Catholics, silly Protestants, you're all just reading your Bibles wrong! Here, let me help, it goes THIS way...(flips Bible right-side up and points to a hilighted scripture with one hand and the brochure "The End of False Religion is Near!" in the other).

  Still another: How long has it been since they changed the blood doctrine? You know what, I'm not even SURE if fractions are okay anymore (Or was it fractions from fractions ONLY? See what I mean?)! If Armageddon came just days before the latest New Light on that, well, I guess the vultures would have been EXTRA happy to pick us apart because we weren't straight on that. How dare we not keep up with the constant refinements! (wait, I thought we WEREN'T supposed to try to keep up with anything but study anyway? Isn't this like following a trend or something? Uh oh, I better go ask an elder. You know what, screw it (read: copulate with it with the sole purpose of reproduction and only do it after one is married. Oh yeah, and no masturbating it. Jehovah will burn off your dong with fire at Armageddon), I'll just type it into the search box on the Watchtower CD! Moral conundrum solved! Thanks, Watchtower Society! Hey, why am I bleeding so much? My no blood card IS in my wallet, isn't it? ISN'T it? Aaghhh!

  Aren't we thankful for the Faithful and Discreet Slave for doing SO MUCH for us, guiding us through this dark, ignorant world, admonishing us all against watching movies that could put our relationship with Jehovah on the line AFTER they come out in theaters? Reminding us blood is both sacreed and evil in some sort of bizarre philosophical and medically ignorant way, just minutes before a potential trumpet sound from heaven? Warning us against Satan's "crafy acts" of making nifty doo-dads we find in garage sales (I mean, they're called CRAFTY acts for a reason, right?), letting us know JUST AT THE RIGHT TIME what the hell Jehovah must have meant when he had someone write about "This generation?" Isn't it just WONDERFUL how God's holy spirit is at work in his Earthly Organization in this time of the end? Holy crap, that one might have been an actual quote...
• 

  Mr. Falcon

  typical backwards JW logic.

  
• 

  jgnat

  TOTALLY off-topic, but here's a guy who provides practical advice for starting fresh: http://www.ted.com/talks/marcin_jakubowski.html THIS should be required study at the Kingdom Hall.

  At the last assembly, I was boggled when a sister, engrossed in a conversation with me about the wonders of technology (personal calculators to iPhones), remarked to her friend that "of course" that the technological wonders of Paradise Earth will be so much more. I guess she forgot herself for a moment and had to make a plug.

  It is easy to forget in our highly integrated society that we are dependent on everyone working together to keep it all going. Remove all but 0.1% of the population of the earth, and it collapses. First the electric grid will fail, then our water pumps, and finally all our infrastructure will give way. Fires would run rampant; there won't be enough firemen or water to do the job. After a short hundred years, concrete based structures will give way. Like I am fond of reminding my husband, I'm not trusting the elders to fill in all our pot-holes.

  My teeth grit when I see images of Paradise Earth where there are ice cubes floating in the glass (refrigeration), with a jaunty straw hanging out the side (paper manufacture and mass production).

  Blondie passed on a message to my husband that the first thousand years will be dedicated on clean-up. You wouldn't catch me on THAT duty.
• 

  Pika_Chu

  @jgnat: I see you like TED talks. I think they're awesome too.
• 

  designs

  You mean I can stop storing up huge bags of rice and can goods.....
• 

  WTWizard

  I think they are preparing the witlesses to not be prepared. They dissed college education. And now many of them are paying the price--this was back in 1969, and they are reinstating the college ban. What if you need that paper to find a job? Or to find a job that pays the bills without working 80 or 90 hours a week? Suppose someone went to college in 1969, got a nice degree in 1973, and was able to pio-sneer since then without much worry. Another person, in the same situation, blew off college in 1969, pio-sneered until the oil crisis of 1973-74, lost his job in the 1974-75 Depression, and had to work 90 hours a week since then to just barely make it? Which would have been able to do the most?

  And now, they are pulling this stupidity again. I do agree that now might not be the best time for college, but because tuition is in a bubble and hyperinflation on its way. But, I do not agree to a ban on college. If you have a full scholarship or your worldly relatives are going to pay for most or all your college costs, you should take advantage of it, bubble or no bubble. If you can get through with little or no debt, you should--it's only if you are going to be saddled with much debt and unable to pay for it that you should really worry about it. And it should be with the goal of preparing for the best job possible, or a more fulfilling personal life, not to pio-sneer.

  Another bad thing some are starting is that investing in silver and gold is "too worldly". Let too many witlesses start that crap, and before long you have congregations where the hounders actually make a rule against it ("brazen conduct"). The hounder-hounder might start retracting "privileges" from those with investment silver. Then, when hyperinflation renders gas too expensive (and you lack practical skills), you cannot do your field circus--which renders you "unfit for salvation". They also do this when the witlesses start developing skills to take care of themselves--which is as important, if not more so, than securing silver. "The time is for field circus." Then, when hyperinflation comes, they cannot take care of themselves or find someone to do it for them. That slashes their field circus, and then "Satan has won the war".

  Never mind doctrines that keep changing. Those simply waste time. To really prepare, one needs to actually discern what is happening. This requires sound information--be it from your Bible or from observing what is actually happening in the world (or both, if you wish). As you discern different things happening in the world, you need to adjust. But, someone that changes random doctrines for no good reason and expects you to stake your life on it is actually wasting your time on distractions. They change "a generation", they change the blood rules, they change the rules on disfellowshipped relatives, they change who has no resurrection, and so on. So, people don't see what really matters--prices going up, shortages, and other things that will actually stop them from doing anything at all.