Primal emotions

JeffT

A while back Dogpatch posted some thoughts about primal emotions and joining/leaving the WT. At the time, being the pathological intellectual I am, I disagreed with him. I thought it was all about doctrine and scriptual analysis.

I now disagree. (This line of thought came to me while stuck in traffic, fighting off the desire to stop, drag the guy who was tailgating me out of his SUV and strangle him was a good exercise in emotional content.)

In looking back I realize that I joined out of emotional need. I was in a dark place in my life and these people came into my life and offered hope, community and all the answers. Upon reflection I don't think it made any difference what those answers were.

When I left, I thought it was all about logic and analysis. My wife and I spent a year researching the the WTBS and sifting facts of history and doctrine. But it started with a deep seated emotion: these people were going to destroy our children. In February or March of 1988 we attended a CA that included the usual rant about education. I wanted something better for my children, better than scrubbing floors and selling magazines. It doesn't get much more primal than that.

I think this is why the average JW has been impervious to discussions of facts. As long as he's content with his position, he won't care what the facts are. Protests, article writing etc won't have much effect on the WTBS without hitting that emotional button. IF the facts can be used to release a primal emotion; they're hurting my kids, they lied to me, or something similar, they will have no effect. They will, however, have an effect on those that have not been brainwashed.

I'm working on an essay that is something of an academic exercise. I'm going to keep working on it, but unless I can put that emotional spin on it, I don't expect it to have a lot of impact.

PSacramento

As long as he's content with his position, he won't care what the facts are.

I couldn't agree more.

leavingwt

Jeff: Thank you for sharing this. You've highlighted how the "sore spot" of the cult member must be exploited, he is to be empowered to think for himself.

Your sore spot was this: "But it started with a deep seated emotion: these people were going to destroy our children."

Who knows what might have happened if a undercover apostate had engaged you on the topic of Education, in a non-preachy fashion, by asking thought-provoking questions that demanded answers related to this sore spot.

Dagney

Well said.

When I left almost 10 years ago I told the JW "friends" who asked, "JW's are too mean. I can't be that mean to people. It's not in me. They need to get another gal." I said it over and over and over again so it would imprint in their mind. If anybody asked them why I left, they could repeat what I said, if they dared.

I didn't talk about goofy doctrine; they know it's goofy. They sometimes would look at me with a puzzled look, but nobody ever said anything back to me. I continue to say just that simple phrase.

So I totally agree. Wanting something better for the children is excellent, and truthful. An unfeeling idiot, (or GB member for that matter ;-) ) would disagree with that comment.

Find an emotional and truthful hook, and perhaps it will touch somebody in a soft spot.

cult classic

Good post JeffT.

We wanted people off of our backs. We didn't care if it was "the truth" or not. We had given until there was nothing left to give. It was time for ourselves. That's pretty primal.

exwhyzee

In looking back I realize that I joined out of emotional need. I was in a dark place in my life and these people came into my life and offered hope, community and all the answers. Upon reflection I don't think it made any difference what those answers were.

Yep...that's often who is targeted...very intentionally....and we thought we were helping them. I suppose in a way it got you through the dark spot you spoke of...gaving you a sort of , felt board and marker to look at while you were lost, metaphorically. Those of us who were raised in the "Truth" didn't have a chance to see anything other than that side of things...this was the truth and you would be destroyed if you didn't believe it. Some would say that was a good thing...we avoided a lot of heartache. Others would disagree.

I think this is why the average JW has been impervious to discussions of facts. As long as he's content with his position, he won't care what the facts are.

Yes....the facts are just a side issue....it's simply a nice side benefit when the beliefs happened to make sense .....when they don't, they can be simply ignored so long as the feeling of contentment remains intact. It all goes along swimmingly and one can feel very selfsatisfied, thinking they have all the answers. That is, until the day reality collides with some of the especially flimsy teachings and one forced out of their place of complacency and into a place where it becomes necessary to re-examine ones beliefs and how they were obtained.

aSphereisnotaCircle

I didn't talk about goofy doctrine; they know it's goofy. They sometimes would look at me with a puzzled look, but nobody ever said anything back to me. I continue to say just that simple phrase.

I think this is the most effective way of talking to a JW. And it is what i have learned to do also.

I never talk about doctrine, I could really care less about that and JWs have all kinds of canned answers for doctrinal stuff.

I usually say "I left because the society behaves in a dysfunctional way, and it seriously hurts people" and your right, they usually just give the deer in the headlights look. The society has never told them what to reply to something like that and they are speechless.

aSphereisnotaCircle

As long as he's content with his position, he won't care what the facts are.

I agree, the jws that have drifted along with no big problems in there lives, truly believe that the society and the elders handle things in the best way. And whenever they hear a story the says otherwise, they simply chalk it up to "I dont know the whole story" and "the elders have it all under control", I know I did.

Its the poor jw that gets drug into a JC, or the battered wife, or beaten and ignored children that sees the real side of things.

I think in most cases, it takes something bad to happen to get most JWs to wake up. They usually dont do it if its all smooth sailing for them.

Dagney

I am constantly amazed that pretty much all of my old friends are still in. They are sort of "thinking" people, want to "make things better from the inside", as they say. I know they are barely hanging on, going through the motions. My best JW gf tells me all the time she goes when she wants, doesn't read the literature, the PO is an a$$hole, the congregation is going through a phase, etc etc etc. As I am hearing this I want to scream "get out get out get out!!! go live the rest of your life on your terms!!!!" But it would make no difference.

I know they pretty much all see themselves growing old and dying without paradise. But they still want to believe that "sky daddy" will do something good for them if they hang in, some sort of reward for the sacrifice and years spent on a ridiculous JW life.

Primal emotions

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