by OnTheWayOut 8 Replies latest jw friends
Last Friday, we posted Wedding-themed stuff just for fun in honor of the Royal Wedding of Kate and William.
I considered an Osama Bin Ladin theme, but that's not really light and fun to everyone.
So, in honor of Mother's Day this Sunday (in the U.S. anyway), we should post anything for/about/to/from Mothers for a laugh or a smile here.
Pictures, videos, stories, jokes. Mushy and funny, all fine:
Here in the Uk, weve had Mothers Day x
A week before my mum passed away (nothing to do with this story) she was arrested - drunk driving. She was on her scootermobile, which my hubby had pimped for her "Pimp my ride Kev!".....so there she was going 10 MPH up a 30 deg hill on the 2 miles journey back home, and she was 3 sheets to the wind...(Knowing mam...about 6 double vodkas!) All her flags, ribbons, and personalised number plate (CRUELLA DE VILLE) must have caught the attention of the local police....it was about 10pm and she was singing songs from the musicals at the top of her voice....
She was arrested and chucked in the cells to cool off. She was 64 by the way. God she was a hellova girl.x
Paula x
Paula I have seen the photos
Mother's Day AND Bin Laden in the one joke!!
Cantleave......LMAO...!!! (however, mam was much better looking)
Mothers (anonymous) This is for the mothers who have sat up all night with sick toddlers in their arms, wiping up barf laced with Oscar Mayer wieners and cherry Kool-Aid saying, "It's alright honey, Mommy's here."
Who have sat in rocking chairs for hours on end soothing crying babies who can't be comforted.
This is for all the mothers who show up at work with spit-up in their hair and milk stains on their blouses and diapers in their purse.
For all the mothers who run carpools and make cookies and sew Halloween costumes. And all the mothers who DON'T.
This is for the mothers who gave birth to babies they'll never see. And the mothers who took those babies and gave them homes. And for the mothers who lost their baby in that precious 9 months that they will never get to watch grow on earth but one day will be reunited with in Heaven!
This is for the mothers whose priceless art collections are hanging on their refrigerator doors.
And for all the mothers who froze their buns on metal bleachers at football or soccer games instead of watching from the warmth of their cars, so that when their kids asked, "Did you see me, Mom?" they could say, "Of course, I wouldn't have missed it for the world," and mean it.
This is for all the mothers who yell at their kids in the grocery store and swat them in despair when they stomp their feet and scream for ice cream before dinner. And for all the mothers who count to ten instead, but realize how child abuse happens.
This is for all the mothers who sat down with their children and explained all about making babies. And for all the (grand) mothers who wanted to, but just couldn't find the words.
This is for all the mothers who go hungry, so their children can eat. For all the mothers who read "Goodnight, Moon" twice a night for a year. And then read it again. "Just one more time."
This is for all the mothers who taught their children to tie their shoelaces before they started school. And for all the mothers who opted for Velcro instead.
This is for all the mothers who teach their sons to cook and their daughters to sink a jump shot.
This is for every mother whose head turns automatically when a little voice calls "Mom?" in a crowd, even though they know their own offspring are at home -- or even away at college.
This is for all the mothers who sent their kids to school with stomach aches assuring them they'd be just FINE once they got there, only to get calls from the school nurse an hour later asking them to please pick them up. Right away.
This is for mothers whose children have gone astray, who can't find the words to reach them.
This is for all the step-mothers who raised another woman's child or children, and gave their time, attention, and love... sometimes totally unappreciated!
For all the mothers who bite their lips until they bleed when their 14-year-olds dye their hair green.
For all the mothers of the victims of recent school shootings, and the mothers of those who did the shooting.
For the mothers of the survivors, and the mothers who sat in front of their TVs in horror, hugging their child who just came home from school, safely.
This is for all the mothers who taught their children to be peaceful, and now pray they come home safely from a war.
What makes a good Mother anyway? Is it patience? Compassion? Broad hips?
The ability to nurse a baby, cook dinner, and sew a button on a shirt, all at the same time? Or is it in her heart? Is it the ache you feel when you watch your son or daughter disappear down the street, walking to school alone for the very first time? The jolt that takes you from sleep to dread, from bed to crib at 2 A.M. to put your hand on the back of a sleeping baby? The panic, years later, that comes again at 2 A.M. when you just want to hear their key in the door and know they are safe again in your home? Or the need to flee from wherever you are and hug your child when you hear news of a fire, a car accident, a child dying?
The emotions of motherhood are universal and so our thoughts are for young mothers stumbling through diaper changes and sleep deprivation...
And mature mothers learning to let go.
For working mothers and stay-at-home mothers.
Single mothers and married mothers.
Mothers with money, mothers without.
This is for you all.
For all of us.
Hang in there.
In the end we can only do the best we can.
Tell them every day that we love them.
And pray.
Please pass along to all the Moms in your life.
"Home is what catches you when you fall - and we all fall."
PG, thanks for the great Mother Story.
BP, you pulled out the overlap joke. Good job. It would have been quite a hat trick if you could get Mother, Osama, and WTS into a single joke. Consider a former JW mother worrying that she raised Jr. in the cult, then he comes back with the Osama line.
