Nothing To Write, But Not Without Something to Say

by AllTimeJeff 6 Replies latest jw friends

  • AllTimeJeff
    AllTimeJeff

    Hey all. I enjoyed my sabatical from our crazy little 5 feet of the cyber world.

    I remember coming on here, leaving JW's and having so much to say, so much to expose. Not that I was in any way the first. I felt a slight bit unique only because it was at Gilead that I had my anti-epiphany. Are you kidding? I was an elder, got to be a pioneer hot shot, just like I always (thought) I wanted. All the while, deep deep down, wondering what the hell I was doing? Something wasn't right. Had to shun my gay brother pursuing spiritual bullshit goals. But I was "good" at being a JW. It took me some growing up to figure it all out. And I did, eventually.

    Anyway, I wrote a lot, with a lot of passion, angst, regret, and gratitude.

    Over the last couple of years, I haven't felt like writing much, because I feel I am rehashing all that I wrote about. I don't write for my mind, I write for my heart. I think I have said and exposed all I can.

    Not that I don't remember the idiodicy of being an elder, the final attempt at brainwashing that is Gilead, how W E I R D Bethel is.

    But since I have been out for 5 years, I ain't in da loop no more. (can't say that fact makes me sad)

    I appreciate all the new ones who come on here, starting that necessary journey for themselves. I will lend my voice when the spirit moves me.

    I hope you don't mind the new, improved, old man AllTimeJeff. (ok, that's bullshit hubris, I'm 36) I am here for me, because y'all are cool. I will do what I can to be supportive of you.

    I still remember how much it sucks to leave and lose your way and try to find it again. Remember, be tough, even if you have to lead with your chin. Love you all. You all are my kin.

  • No Room For George
    No Room For George

    Jeff, I appreciate and respect you. You're one of the handful of posters that made it possible for me to jump over the hurdle and finally register and make my first post.

  • ABibleStudent
    ABibleStudent

    Congratulations AllTimeJeff through on your journey through life.

    Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

    ABibleStudent

  • wobble
    wobble

    I am kinda reaching the same place as you AT Jeff, the only reason I still read and post here is the hope that someone will wake up because of the way we express our discoveries and feelings on here.

    I went through a number of stages, like trying to think of ways to bring down the WTBS, also a kind of bereaved feeling, like I had lost a family member, not a loved family member, because the WT never loved me, but I still felt a "loss".

    I now feel totally apart from the JW/WT mentality and Org. I am a worldly person, and proud of it.

    I appreciate all I have gained.

    The WT will destroy itself before long, I will never free my family who are still in, and I will not even try anymore with them.

    I still love this place, the humour, evident love and care shown, and the incisive exposure of WT silliness and duplicity, you guys are my family now.

  • Billy the Ex-Bethelite
    Billy the Ex-Bethelite

    Glad to hear that you haven't gone back!

  • Awakened at Gilead
    Awakened at Gilead

    I don't have much to say either, I really don't give a shit about the WTS anymore... Nice to hear you're doin well...

    A@G

  • talesin
    talesin

    You all are my kin.

    I'll second that emotion.

    t

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