My father seems unhappy
by fade_away 8 Replies latest jw experiences
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fade_away
dammit! Stupid glitch. There goes an hour wasted of writing.
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fade_away
I'll write it again in 24 hrs. god damn! >:(
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fade_away
Ok never mind I found a way to save it: This is what I wrote.......
My dad became an elder a little more than a decade ago, and throught the years he has become more and more stressed and overall negative, serious and unhappy. Last time I went to visit him, he was tired and completely stressed out after spending hours upon hours in front of the computer working on talks and projects for the congregation. He has always had way too much on his plate. It's allways a talk next sunday, territory maps need to be created, prepare for the personal study, prepare for the family study, arrange an appointment for a sheperd visit, prepare a talk for the memorial, prepare a talk for the assembly, get ready for a private elder meeting, assign parts for the members, prepare for a JC meeting, disfellowship this one, censor that one, recieve phone calls from brothers and sisters with problems, fulfill your pioneering hours of 50 + hrs a month, start new studies and baptize them in the name of the WT.
My dad is burned out. When I was over at his house, I over heard him complain to my mom about some elders in the congregation about how inconsiderate some are in assigning so much work to him at once. He's complained about this before. But if you think this could be the beginning of his awakening....I doubt it. Hardships make his faith stronger. He keeps in mind the story of Job and how much worse his life got. Even though his wife told him to curse God and die, he stayed strong and God blessed him in the end. He feels he will be blessed for all his hard work in the new world.
This type of thinking makes masochists out of JWs. They welcome suffering. As for myself, I'm very happy! Life has gotten so much better since I left! If I tell them that, it makes their faith even stronger. It reinforces their belief that I'm walking the wide and open path of happiness that leads to destruction. Meanwhile, they suffer cause they're on the narrow uncomfortable path that leads to ever lasting life. But if I was to tell them I'm miserable now, then they would say I don't have Jehovah's blessing since I left the WT. There's no winning with these people. It reinforces their faith if I'm happy and they're miserable, and it reinforces their faith if I'm miserable and they're happy.
As a preacher once said in the videogame Grand Theft Auto: "You may seem happy! But happiness is of the Devil! Only the chosen ones suffer." lol! It's a hilarious satire of Christianity teachings. Here he is:
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sizemik
Is that Lars?
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garyneal
lol
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mindseye
Yeah, there's no winning, that's for sure. One of my family members told me "Come to the meetings, so you can be happy." I honestly told him "I am happier than I've ever been in my life." He responded "You can be happier." Meanwhile, I see all of them looking tired and worn out from service, meetings, etc.
Really, JWs will do whatever mental gymnastics to justify their lifestyle. They misread a story like Job, which clearly wasn't meant as an excuse for self-inflicted masochism. Any criticism is looked at as "persecution." Any plea to reason or science - or other spiritual thought for that matter - is looked at as "worldly thinking".
I've learned to let it go. Really, in the end people have the right to do what they want with their lives. But yeah, it's hard to watch, especially when its ones you love.
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luna2
I have no family in, so I don't have to watch them struggling with too many assignments and being beaten down at meetings every week. I have my problems, but I'm much happier without the Jehovah's Witness B.S. I noticed that those who were happiest in the congregations I attended were ones who had set their boundries, ignored a lot of the junk in the magazines and did just enough to keep the elders off of their backs. I'm not sure why they bothered, other than wanting to stay on good terms with their family members who were also JWs, but it really made an impression on me as I sat there in the meetings, feeling tired to death from working 8 to 10 hours all day, having had to make dinner as soon as I walked in the door at night and then race to get dressed and get to the meetings, where we all felt berated and chastized by whatever talk or study was on tap for the evening. Suffering for a religion that gives nothing in return eventually wears you out and unless you enjoy that suffering, you do eventually figure out that its not worth it.