What to make of highly active JW still chatting with me?

by Velour 4 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Velour
    Velour

    Howdy All

    Last year I quickly faded. I had a friend who was in Bethel at the time I left. 2 months later, when he found out, he called me and asked a few questions about my experience ''out there'' and then chatted with me like good ole times. It's been over a year and since I've left and every few weeks he contacts me and we chat it up like nothing has ever happened.

    I'm wondering if he's curious about living life outside of the organization himself and that's why he is still chatting with me. He's asked questions and said things like, "am I missing anything?", "I bet you go to a lot of music shows, huh?", "well, why don't you tell me what an atheist is" and though he doesn't ask these kinds of things often, it's been enough that I kinda get the feeling he's scouting out the idea of living in ''the world'' through me. I'm always open and honest with him about my life outside of the organization.

    I wouldn't be suspicious since he's been like my little brother for years (he's 5 years younger than me, 20 years old). We've gone through hard times together and had some amazing summers with friends by the river. But I am wondering why someone in his position would still be talking to me since even my own flesh and blood family have shunned me. He's a MS, just got back from Bethel a month ago, been to Costa Rica to preach and plans on moving back there at the end of the year, he's a regular at KH and AH builds, he's a pioneer. His mother and father are hyper active JWs, its just the 3 of them. In fact, the cong he comes from has a reputation of being super active, super spiritual folks.

    I know he knows he ought not talk to me but he still does. I don't want to close off a connection to my friend by shoveling apostate ideas at him. However, since he's still talking to me, is he looking for an ''outsider's" perspective? Am I not taking full advantage of the opportunity to share some knowledge in reality? OR is he just simply wanting me to stay his friend since we've been friends for so long through thick and thin? He's a social guy and has plenty of friends, it seems odd to me that he's keeping up communication with me specifically.

    Has anyone else experienced something similar? I left the organization quickly but maybe someone else has an experience of ''scouting the world out'' through others' for a time before deciding to leave? Is this what my friend is doing? Would it be appropriate to just ask him his motives (it makes me uncomfortable to question them, we're friends!)?

    Ultimately, I would love for him to get out. I don't want to bombard him with anything though and I'd rather keep a long time friend than risk pushing him away. I feel I have a chance to share some things with him but it's hard to gauge what's safe to lay out and what'll scare him off.

    Thanks =)

  • WhatWasIThinking
    WhatWasIThinking

    I wouldn't bombard him because you could easily push him away but you can honestly answer questions he asks. It's possible that he's curious and has doubts, or he could just be a good person and a true friend. There are four witnesses that are still in that talk to me on a regular basis even though they know I am DA'd. We still hang out and do things together when our schedules permit. They are good people and the only people in the org that I consider ever having been my true friends.

  • ABibleStudent
    ABibleStudent

    Congratulations Velour for having a true JW friend!! Enjoy your friendship and don't worry about telling your friend about "Apostate" sites or information. Let your friend ask you when he is ready. If you want to help your friend awaken without jeapodizing your friendship, you could ask your friend how does he feel about being a JW when he asks, "How is it out in the World?" You could also send him an anonymous email such as I wrote about in the "You've Got Mai! TM" thread or send a shorter email with a slogan like I suggested for printing on business card size paper in the "Need ideas for a tract for my anti-witnessing campaign" thread. Good-luck with your friendship.

    Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

    ABibleStudent

  • talesin
    talesin

    ABibleStudent - my thoughts exactly

    t

  • Velour
    Velour

    Thank you all for the insight. I'll give him any information when he asks for it and not sweat missing an opportunity. Thanks again.

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