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freeflyingfaerie

After this last conversation with my father, I had almost decided to completely just not have any contact at all. But then realized I still need to go through my parents to ever talk with my little sister. So what am i going to do? If I'm feeling up to any discussion at all with them, it's going to be short. I'm going to take more control of this. If we are going to discuss, I will be given the dignity of an answer to my question, or the conversation is ending. Enough of this 'we all want you to come back' condescending stuff.

Here are a few questions I may ask at some point, one at a time, and if i'm feelling up to it~

~If your religion is the 'truth' it should stand up to criticism and analysis at any time, yes?

~Is it fair that someone born-into the religion should lose all family if they one day decide to believe differently? It doesn't give that person much of a choice, does it?

~If it's the 'truth' why are you fearful of talking with those that have left? Are you afraid we may shake your faith? If it's true, there should be no fear.

~If the message is so urgent, why don't JW use the efficiency of the internet to help others?

Please feel free to help me with some questions. I have to promise myself to only ask them one at a time. One at a time. One at a time...I can do this

jean-luc picard

They're all good questions free.

I think, however, that you know the kind of answers you will get already:

we do stand up to critism when its bible based.

we must obey jehovah/fds, he/they say not to speak to apostates.

But............., I do like your second question: with the clarifier " someone born-in". That one is likely to make them woffle a bit more than normally.

Good luck with your leaving plans.

jlp

freeflyingfaerie

It's true, they have given answers like that when they were asked some similar questions. It's no surprise, it's so predictable really. It's so frustrating to even discuss. Remembering back to some advise given by the well-loved Stephen Hassan, I am probably reacting the exact opposite of what his well-thought out suggestions were. It's so hard to know what I know and not try to help my family out. I feel like I lost a really good family. And it's infuriatiing at the same time that what I say isn't respected because of the very fact that I am not one of them anymore. My words hold little or no value to them any longer. That really stings.

I will keep letting them know they are loved. It's maddening when it seems like there is no hope...that they are all united in their devotion to the religion..they all have each other to perpetuate the faith in the lie. They all just keep saying 'come back'. It doesn't matter how many times I say 'no chance', they keep holding out some false hope that I will 'come to my senses' and return, because, after all, others have.

It's better when we don't talk. I live my life, and they live theirs. It's less painful that way. There is no battle, nothing to prove. If they want to live that way, it's their choice. I chose to come out of it, and deserve to live..and living is what I'm doing~

wobble

I feel for you dear FFfaerie, I went through a very similar stage.

Having put those very questions, plus the 1919 question to them, and it having no effect, I came to the decision that I would be with them as I am with normal people, I do not discuss religion with normal people, it never comes up, so I just discuss family stuff, how my sons are doing, and I ask how their offspring are etc.

If they are determined to stay weird, and stuck in astrange silly cult, I cannot change that, but they are still family , so we remain on cordial terms.

It is the best I can hope for. We have reached a peaceful solution, no Dubtalk, just day to day news.

off topic, but my wife loves faeries, and anything to do with them, I said to her the other day "You know they are real don't you?" and she said "Of course they are" I think she is a true believer !

Broken Promises

I agree with Wobble, it's probably best not to discuss religion if you want to stay in contact with your family, especially to have access to your sister.

I've had to do that with my family, just agree to disagree and concentrate on just talking about family matters and everyday stuff. You'll get nowhere if you insist on talking about the JWs. It's hard enough for any family to be "normal" so do your best to concentrate on being a family first.

freeflyingfaerie

If they are determined to stay weird, and stuck in astrange silly cult, I cannot change that, but they are still family , so we remain on cordial terms. ~wobble

Staying on cordial terms.. sounds good. Not talking about religion, that sounds easier than it looks, lol! Still learning to not react so much when they say what they feel they need to say in a preachy way. ( that rhymed, what do you know) It will be better if we don't go off on tangents for sure. That will just bring up those same frustrations again..leading to insanity, at best. Here it is i have made a pact with myself...no religious tangents, especially not initiating a defense mechanism in them for crying out loud, bring it around to the peace, bring it around to the love, easy does it.

my wife loves faeries, and anything to do with them, I said to her the other day "You know they are real don't you?" and she said "Of course they are" I think she is a true believer !

Love it!

it's probably best not to discuss religion if you want to stay in contact with your family, especially to have access to your sister.~ Broken Promises

That is so true. Sometimes I have brought it up, sometimes they have. It seems usually what gets the religion talk going is when they want to preach to me and I react to it. It will be better to let it roll off like water on a duck's back. It's taking awhile to get there.

Thanks for the support people on here that I've never met, yet understand and care~

Broken Promises

If they start to preach to you, just divert the conversation and change the subject.

"That's not why I called you, I wanted to talk to you about XYZ...."

"Yes, Dad, we'll have to agree to disagree on that point. Anyway, how's (insert relative/friend's name) going?"

"Have you seen (the latest movie release)? I'm thinking of watching it"

It takes practice and biting your tongue on occasion, but if you want to retain family relations, it's worth it.

freeflyingfaerie

"That's not why I called you, I wanted to talk to you about XYZ...."~ Broken Promises

Yes! XYZ is the way to go. That's the plan.

"Have you seen (the latest movie release)? I'm thinking of watching it"

Don't think this one will go to well, though, LOL!

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