Hello all. I am primarily a lurker here, but I feel compelled to post today. I have been soul searching for a while now, and trying to come to terms with who I am, and what I believe. This forum has been immensley helpful to me and my recovery from the WTBTS, and I appreciate everyone of you for contribution to my process of moving on. I am comforted by the fact that I am not alone in my quest for "truth."
I was raised a JW, 4th generation, my great grandfather was one of the early bible students who was imprisoned during 1919, needless to say my JW roots run deep. My mother married my father at age 19, when my father was new to the organization, and he quickly faded, much to the dismay of my mother. My father was not a good man, he was an alcoholic, and a wife beater, to me my mother was "saintly" in comparison. Growing up she was my rock of inspiration, and to this day I am moved by the sacrifices she made to keep the family togeather. My parents eventually divorced when I was 12. My father married the next weekend to a woman I despise to this day. I have two brothers who went with my father after their divorce, and their lives have turned out much like my fathers.
I chose to stay with my mother, I felt when comparing my mother and father, that I was comparing the world to the truth, and so I strived to be a good witness.I got baptised and immediately became an auxillary pioneer, (I was one of those home schooled kids putting the truth first.) I was held in high esteem by the congregation, and more importantly, by my mother. I was quickly moving up the ladder of responsibilty and felt very good about myself.
As a teenager, I got into some trouble. Typical stuff, get caught smoking, sneeking out of the house with young sisters. I would usually get off fairly lightly, because I was really a decent kid who appeared very repentant.
As I got a little older, I decided to go to college. It was semi-frowned upon, but I did not get seriously chastised for it. I also moved out on my own with a good friend of mine. About this time I began to realise why the society frowned on higher education. I was meeting many different kinds of people, and I was enjoying new thoughts and ideas. I very slowly faded away during this time. I realised there was a lot of things to learn, and I had a thirst for new experiences.
Then came the shocker. I was approached by a man one day about a "business oppertunity." I went to a meeting about this oppurtunity, and it turned out to be an Amway meeting lol. I heard about how people where just making money hand over fist. But the people just seemed strange to me, they had a complete lingo of their own much like the witnesses. So like any "business oppurtunity," I decided to check out the internet about it. I found hundreds of websites of people who compared this business to a cult, and their many devious business opperations. One in particular caught my eye. The owner of the website was a former witness and former Amway rep, and had both listed as dangerous cults. Up until this time, I was just an inactive witness, and was still attending some meetings. That website opened up the floodgates of knowledge about the society. I literally spent days going through this information with disbelief. I couldnt beleive it. Was I decieved all these years. I began to question my belief system. Blood transfutions,607, 1975, 1914, 1925, was all this true.
From that time forward, I have come to see the socitey, as it really is, a controlling money machine organization and nothing more.
Months passed by, and I found myself here, and it is a breath of fresh air. So many different kinds of people from different backrounds, and different belief systems, all getting on with their lives. I love it, and I appreciate all of you.
Fortunately I have not been shunned by my mother, but I know it just eats her up knowing that I have no desire to come back. I hope some day I can show her the truth about the truth. As many of you know, it is very hard to get through the thick layers of dubdom, but by god, I will try.
Thank all of you!
by Infrared 5 Replies latest jw friends
-
Infrared
-
Sky
Thank you for sharing your story.
I hope to see more posts from you!
Kisses!
Sky -
dmouse
Welcome.
And yeah, doesn't it feel GOOD to write it down and share it?!
Dean.
-
Infrared
Yes it feels great to express myself. The only problem is lack of time. I could go on and on about it. After leaving, you realize how little love and concern there is in the congregation. I have not recieved so much as a phone call in the last year from my so called brothers and sisters, and I was not DAed or DFd.
-
Abaddon
Good to have you here!
People living in glass paradigms shouldn't throw stones...
-
Carmel
Great story Infared, and a great moniker! Looking forward to more.
carmel