I found this spoof site about a non-existant subway in Dayton, Ohio. If you check out the FAQ section they have a little something to say about JW's. It even has a link to an apostate site! I thought it was pretty funny:
Why don't you have the Mehaffie's Pie vending machines on the platforms anymore?remWe used to offer Mehaffie's Pies at some of our stations as a service to our riders so they could have a delicious pie for dessert without having to stop off at the grocery store on the way home at night. Unfortunately, some slobs would eat the pies right there on the platform or on the train making a big mess. Even worse, teenagers and transvestite pie fetishists would throw them in the station making an even bigger mess. The final straw was when an old lady passing out Watchtower slipped on some coconut cream pie filling, bashed her head open and later died because she refused a blood transfusion. Her non-Jehovah's Witness family sued us and the hospital blind. Sorry, no more pies. If you're in a hurry, try Heather-Amber Sizemore's Aunt Juanita's recipe for Impossible Pie.
"We all do no end of feeling, and we mistake it for thinking." - Mark Twain