Well,I hardly go to meetings,but not too many people in my congregation attend meetings. It's been the local needs.
I still attend the occassional meeting to keep people off my back. But,fortunately,no one calls when I have been missing.
Anyway,I attended this Thursday,and I could hardly stomach it. First,there is the awful Kingdom songs,I can't stand the music,let alone the singing.
And the comments are hard to stomach too. If I was just coming in,I would be freaked out at the constant mention of Satan. Someone made the comment that we are either under Jehovah's control or Satan's control,ugh.
Now,that my eyes and mind are opened,I can't believe I went along with it for so long. I've been preparing in my mind what to say if the elders ever want to meet with me. I still won't come out and say what I really feel,but I think I'll just say,I need time to think and play the depression card,but,so far,no one bugged me. Family will be harder. But,the pretending has just been too much. I can't do it much longer.
But,I did make a break through with my mother without really saying a word. And without going into detail,she is starting to see all the pharisaical rules. She told me tonight how she doesn't like three elders in her hall,including the C.O.B.E. She said they are two-faced. That being said,I don't think she will ever leave. She still is quite zealous in the ministry. But,at least,she doesn't bug me about why I don't go out in service anymore.
But,I'm happier now that at least my mind is totally free and my own. And I make my own choices and am no longer under the thumb of the elders or GB.