by joelbear 8 Replies latest jw friends
Remember that Calculus test I thought I failed and which panicked me into suicidal thoughts. I made an 89 on it.
Will I ever conquer my self defeating anxiety? Time will tell.
I can't erase the past, all I can work on is the future.
One thing I have found out is how many people are going through tough times. I guess we just need to keep picking each other up. Isn't that what makes being human special?
Take care all
Joel
I think you will find a way, Joelbear. It will come through stopping the negative thought flow and starting to fill your mind with good things about yourself and others. Likely a doctor can help you with specific medication, but some of it will have to come through your own efforts, possibly through a therapist. Meditation, reading, prayer, and counting my blessings periodically helps me. When was the last time you made a list of all the things you have going for you that are good and worthy of celebrating? That helps me the most.
Randy
Congratulations! Sometimes I think I wrote the book on self-defeat. Heck, I haven't gotten up the courage to even go to college yet.
I think it's awsome that you are working toward somthing great for yourself.
How long have you been back in school, what is your goal, what is your ultimate dream job?
Congratulations Joel! 89%, Wow! that's great.
One thing I have found that helps me is to keep experiences like this one, where your anxiety turned out to be unwarranted, in mind the next time you begin to stew over something and start all of the negative self-talk. It helps me to be more positive about myself and keep things in a little better perspective.
It is also wonderful to have a place like this to come to where we can enjoy each other's friendships, insights and support. I'm glad you're here!
Sincerely, Windrider
Great, Joel! I am so proud of you. I can only imagine how I would fare on calculus!! Not good, either.
I agree that many of us are facing very difficult times. I am having a bad year, so far, too, with too many family crises. Sometimes I want to run away to Florida again, and we just got home from there last Sunday. I guess the point is that you can't run away from problems, but you can get a brief break sometimes. I would love to have peace again. It would be sooooo nice.
I wish you lots of peace and tranquility. You are a dear man, and obviously very smart too.
Marilyn (aka Mulan)
"No one can take advantage of you, without your permission." Ann Landers
joelbear....An 89!!! That is incredible!
It took me years to complete college because of MATH... I don't even like the word.
Congratulations! That is major!
Thanks to all.
Randy, that is good advice. I need to write down my gratitudes and read them.
Mulan. I keep telling myself. Just one day at a time Joel. Its one of the healthiest things I do. By the way, my feet are still burning but not all the time and not as bad. I am getting acupuncture twice a week. Sitting at my desk and driving are the worst. Hope your crises stop real soon and you get some peace.
Lari.
My goal is to get at least a Masters and maybe a Doctorate in Sociology. My dream job is doing behavioral research and developing it into motivational presentations. I love public speaking.
You should go just take one college class. Something that you love reading and thinking about. That will get you acclimated to the college feel of things. Most colleges love getting older students. I find the classroom environment itself very stimulating. I tense up on things I am graded on. I love the discussions.
take care
Joel
Hi Joel,
Glad you did so well. I really screwed up on calculus in school. The first course I managed a C, however, the next course I took went down to a D. It was an elective for me, so I could "see the writing on the wall" and didn't take a third course which could've been an E. Funny, I'm very logical and am very good at math, however, calculus just through me for a loop. So, "my hat's off to you".
BTW, if you get any suicidal thoughts again, think of what Joan River's said [this helped me when I was often in suicidal thought mode as a JW and the few times it recurred after leaving the JWs --- usually when some important part of my life just didn't seem to be working correctly]: "Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem." The problem always goes away, usually in a matter of a week or two at most.
Keep hangin' in!
Of course you'll find a way, Joel, as long as you don't let the minor failures set you back ten accomplishments.
That's the key. Keep a realistic view of your life, but not pessimistic. Keep on performing like that on tests, and your intellect will help you over come feeling of inferiority.
I use humor to forget when I'm feeling worthless. My wife uses me ()
Congrats on the test....I sure couldn't have done it.
