School Ties?

by Think About It 6 Replies latest jw friends

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  Think About It

  There is a movie on right now called School Ties- starring Brendan Fraser. The movie is about a "Jewish" boy who goes off to a WASP college, but hides his Jewish background from his friends and girlfriend. He becomes very popular and accepted by them, until his friends find out he is Jewish. After that they all turn their backs on him and he is treated like an outcast, losing both his friends and girlfriend.

  This movie reminds me of when I went off to college. Had a college girlfriend in a soroity, and was very popular in the fraterity I was joining. Somehow it got out that I had a JW background. Like Brendan Fraser in the movie, I soon lost my girlfriend, and my so-called "brothers" in the fraternity. Eventually, I was voted out. It was obvious that it was because of the "JW" label.

  Has anybody here had a similar experience of trying to fit in, but your JW past came back to haunt you? Since I left for good back in 1995, I'm very careful to not let anybody in my career field know that I am a former JW. Proud to now be an X-JW, but I think people can still stigmatize you as a JW even though you have nothing to do with the religion.

  It's nice to come here and be a part of a group that shares the same background.

  Think About It
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  Teary Oberon

  1. Since you set up the comparison, are you implying that the Jewish boy should have also been ashamed of his Jewish background and hidden it from everybody?

  2. If you have a JW background but don't in any way act like a JW anymore, and if you had already built up friends before it got out that you used to be a JW, then it sounds to Teary like you just had really crappy and judgmental friends that you were better off without. Either that, or they voted you out for reasons other than your JW background and you are just using it now as a way to justify your rejection, i.e., scapegoating.
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  Think About It

  Teary.....do you always try to read between the lines, rather than what someone actually says?

  Think About it
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  Teary Oberon

  Who is reading between lines? Teary is just asking some perfectly logical questions of you:

  1. If it is good to hide and be ashamed of a JW background, then is it also good to hide and be ashamed of a Jewish background (since you used both in your comparison)?

  2. Can you really consider people to be worthwhile friends if they abandon you based on past religious affiliation that you don't even practice anymore?

  3. How do you know that they kicked you out based on your past religious affiliation alone? Maybe the just plain didn't like you, or maybe you yourself did something to cause them to not like you anymore and kick you out?
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  jamiebowers

  I'm sorry to hear that happened to you. My experience with "worldly" people hs been just the opposite. They're usually fascinated by cult stories. I'm wondering if you either went to a religious school like BYU or if your college was located in the Bible Belt. Also I'm curious to know how long ago this rejection took place. It seems that religion was much more important in the past than it is now to the general population.
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  talesin

  Think About It,, frats are known for being exclusionary, and your story is not shocking or surprising to me.

  There's a big difference between hiding your JW or Jewish roots to protect yourself from being discriminated against, and being ashamed of your background. Are you suggesting that the Jews who hid from the Nazis were ashamed of being Jewish? As usual, Teary, you have nothing constructive to add to the conversation.

  Yes, my MIL treated me very badly. She was rude and cold to me from the get-go. My ex was shocked by this, as she had never treated any of her kids' spouses in this fashion (5 sons & 2 daughters). She is usually a very warm and friendly person (or so I've been told).

  When we talked about it, he said he remembered that as a child, when the JWS would come to the door, he was forbidden to answer -- his mother feared and hated the JWS. She also knows my family is JW. It's the only reason he could think of, for her to treat me that way.

  t
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  Think About It

  Jamie/Talesin....this was during my college days many years ago. Just a comparison from a movie I seen today. I could see how some would still be labeled a JW even after leaving the religion. At the place I worked at when I left the JW's, for 12 years I told them I was no longer a JW. To this day, which is now 16 years, I bet they still consider me a JW. (LOL) I think I've been out now longer than I was in.

  Think About it