You are what you drink.... :-)

by riz 6 Replies latest social humour

  • riz
    riz

    Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman's personality based on what she drinks. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts.

    The results:

    Drink: Beer
    Personality: Causal, low-maintenance; down to earth.
    Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.

    Drink: Blender Drinks
    Personality: Flaky, whiny, annoying; a pain in the ass.
    Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabana boy.

    Drink: Mixed Drinks
    Personality: Older, more refined, high- maintenance, has very picky taste; knows EXACTLY what she wants.
    Your Approach: You won't have to approach her. If she's interested, she'll send YOU a drink.

    Drink: Wine (does not include White Zinfandel)
    Personality: Conservative and classy; sophisticated yet giggles.
    Your Approach: Tell her you love to travel and spend quiet evenings with friends.

    Drink: White Zinfandel
    Personality: Easy; thinks she is classy and sophisticated, actually she has NO clue.
    Your Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is...this should be an easy target.

    Drink: Shots
    Personality: Likes to hang with frat-boy pals and looking to get totally drunk... and naked.
    Your Approach: Easiest hit in the joint. You have been blessed. Nothing to do but wait, however, be careful not to make her mad!

    Drink: Tequila
    No explanations required - everyone just KNOWS what happens there.

    THEN, there is the MALE addendum ----
    The deal with guys is, as always, very simple and clear cut:

    Domestic Beer: He's poor and wants to get laid.

    Imported Beer: He likes good beer and wants to get laid.

    Wine: He's hoping that the wine will give him a sophisticated image to help him get laid.

    Whiskey: He doesn't give a damn about anything but getting laid.

    Tequila: He is thinking he has a chance with the toothless waitress.

    White Zinfandel: He's gay!

    .
    .
    .

    hell, i like 'em all :p i guess that makes me a schizophrenic.

    rizzy

  • safe4kids
    safe4kids

    LMAO Riz

    Back in my drinking days, I was a beer/margarita/champagne drinker...what the hell does that make me??!!

    Dana

  • outnfree
    outnfree

    Dana --

    It makes you MOODY!!!

    And WHY are we both back posting on this board, hmmmmmm?????!!!!
    GET BACK TO WORK, you slacker!!!!

    Riz --

    I drink Wine now, and Vodka Collinses in my youth! LOL
    And when I want a Pina Colada I AM feeling like I want a cabana boy! LOL

    outnfree

    It's what you learn after you know it all that counts -- John Wooden

  • safe4kids
    safe4kids

    LOLOL Out!

    Who you callin' a slacker??!! I'll have you know I've emptied the dishwasher finally! AND looked up an article on racism on the 'net. Surely that's enough work for one day??!! Sheesh!

    Dana

  • teenyuck
    teenyuck

    Now I know I am messed up....I love beer, martinis, red wine and shots. Does that make me a drunk?

  • safe4kids
    safe4kids

    Puffs, I don't know what it makes you either...maybe outnfree can help you out with that as she did me

    What I do know is that I'd rather be nursing a drink right now instead of nursing this damn cold! Arrrrrggghhhh!!!!!!!

    Dana

  • slipnslidemaster
    slipnslidemaster

    What about us that when the bars close at 2:00am, go home and drink all the vanilla extract and mouth wash?

    Slipnslidemaster: "Facts are the enemy of truth."

    - Don Quixote

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