I'm curious. I grew up in the borg, and had my share of friendships. I've noticed something, though, since I've been out. I have many more real friends than I ever did as a dub. I mean the kind of friends that you can trust and really open your heart to, without fear. I realized that I didn't have that at all as a dub. I thought I did back then, but the friends I had would gossip behind my back. I grew up thinking that was normal. I can't remember my parents or grandparents (all dubs) ever having friends they confided in. How sad! They were all well connected in the borg, and "brothers and sisters" would come and visit, but friendships didn't run deep. It feels so great to have close friends now. I think it's one of the best side effects of leaving the borg.
I was wondering how many have made similar observations.
me too, the only 'friends' i had in the org were just keeping up appearances by coming to visit, inviting me for dinner and all that stuff, since leaving, i have got the chance to chose who i want to be my friend and i can trust them when i talk about anything ive done which they consider wrong, they will speak there mind and tell me their opinion, not go running to the elders to *tell* on me, i know that the information i give them is confidential and will be kept that way, because i trust them, i trust them because i have chosen them to be my friend, i made the choice, didnt have someone else make it for me
coffee_black, I understand! I have much better, closer friends since leaving than I ever had as a JW.
I am not reproved, shunned or judged my them. We accept each others differences and respect each others views.
I am so glad I am out...I have had such a better life since leaving. I would never have met or married my husband if I were still in. This alone makes up for all the false JW friends.
coffee_black, you are right! My family first learned about the jws when I was 8 and I left completely last year at the age of 27. In all that time I never, ever made one true jw friend. I tried making friends with some young jws, but most of them were either hypocrites or snobs. The only real friend I had was not a witness. Since I have left I have made some new real friends. Friends who I can count on and will be there for me no matter what!
"I have so much love to give, but no one to give it to."
AMEN!!! It's becuase we can chose who we want as friends we're not forced together with a bunch of people we dont' even like. We can now decide for ourselves, freedom is great!!!
Ven
"Injustice will continue until those who are not affected by it are as outraged as those who are."
You made a good note there. When looking back the years with JW's it is easy to remember this never ending flood of "do not stumble even the weakest"-type of repeated advice. Then again one cannot have unlimited number of true and genuine best friends. During the years as a JW I cannot recall even a single one that I could have shared my deepest feelings. After I was DF'd I quicly found new friends. It is amongst these people that I still have my closest and truly genuine friends. Looking back I recall the presence of JW's as wearing half a number too small shoes. Being aware that your every word, move and gesture is registered and filed.
