It sort of sounds like the beginning of a joke. I sort of gave them shit and my wife who knows very little about my JW past was sort of suprised. I realized how angry i am for all the damage that has been done. I don't blame the ladies, just the whole org and all it's crap. I talked a bit to my wife about things and it sort of brought back some memories. A couple of things stood out. When I was a new guy going to my first convention in Toronto my book study guy warned me about the people who would be protesting the convention and all about them being apostates...and how i thought nothing of it and just wondered why they would want to leave gods perfect org? The other thing was the book study and talking about masterbation, and how it was wrong and not to do it. I just agreed with everything said and went with it without really questioning any of it. It makes me wonder what I was thinking at th etime. The further away i get from my last meeting the more insane and silly the whole things seems. I still can't believe I bought in to it. I guess I wanted to belong somewhere really bad. It's been about 20 years and it still comes back. Does this go away? Will I forgive my self for wasting all that time? take care. Marty
two ladies come to the door
by Martyn 3 Replies latest jw friends
-
-
poppers
Will I forgive my self for wasting all that time?
What is to be gained by not forgiving yourself?
-
Paralipomenon
I think it depends on your mindset. There are many that get stuck looking back with anger and regret, the goal is to get to the point where you turn around and look forward.
You cannot change your past, any time spent obsessing over it is more time that the WT inadvertantly claims from you. My advice is, when you feel a bad memory about your past with the Organization, if you catch yourself, force yourself to change to a memory of what you want to do in the future, something positive.
Eventually you'll retrain your mind, when you think of the past with regret, to switch tracks to something more positive.
-
Martyn
Thank you, good advice. I can only imagine what people who have spent a life time suffering must feel, I only had a small attack. thanks again. Deep down I know these things, but it seems to help to hear it from other.