It's been a year since I escaped the clutches of the Watchtower. Yeah, I'm two days early but it's a Thursday and it was a Thursday that I attended my last meeting.
I'm posting this thread to sort of gather my thoughts of where I am.
So, are things better? Easy question for many of you. The answer is yes. However, for a while I wasn't sure. Like everyone else who left without fading, it was tough at first. I had to face the unholy (very apt word use) wrath of the elders and my parents as well as my "friends". For two straight months, I was hounded by the elders. I kept my composure and I feel I stood up to them very well. I posed questions that I could tell were really making them think. I was even told "you are too smart for your own good". They said it like I was supposed to be insulted.
Then I had my mother. She pleaded with me through tears to turn back. She said some things that definitely hurt coming from someone who is supposed to be a nurturing hand in the family. She said things like "It would be better if you were dead." Harsh. Months after, she accused me of doing drugs and god knows what else she thought I was doing. Never done a drug in my life but I do drink a lot (too much). My stepdad didn't have much to say at first. Then he started to confront me about it. I was living at home at the time. This was not a fun time in my life.
It wasn't too long after that they told me I had to move out. I live with my brother (not in the JW's) and his wife. It's a nice little arrangement we have. That took so much of the stress away I was dealing with. I had panic attacks several times when I was back at home. Talk about scary.
Eventually things started to improve. I was able to fill the void in my life. I made new friends, rekindled some old friendships, met a lovely girl named Caitie. Sadly she moved out of state. We still talk all the time and she came back in town in October. I had some nice coworkers help me along. They were a good listening ear and tried to be understanding of my situation. They really helped me keep my mind straight.
I attended my first Apostafest. Thanks again to TotallyADD and his lovely wife for hosting. It was a great time! It was nice to meet some new people who have all been able to share their experiences and really reaffirm in my mind that the choices I've made are the correct choices.
So I've been living with my brother for the last six months. I just turned 23. I met a nice girl named Ann. We are going on our first date on Saturday. I'm super excited. Now I'm looking to see if I can find new work. The job I have now is wearing me thin. I am thankful to have a job though in this economy. I would like to move away sometime next year. I think it would be a nice adventure.
As regards my mother, we are on better terms now. She is still upset and it is still awkward when I see her but for the most part she has refrained from using her guilt and snide remarks. We've gone out for lunch a few times. She keeps the JW talk to a minimum. I think she still has hopes that I will return. I feel bad that I disappointed her by leaving but as one poster on here (and Kurt Kobain) said "I would rather be hated for what I am, than loved for what I am not."
I've written posts thanking all of you lovely people on here before but I can't help but say it again. You guys are the reason why I left the JW's. Those evil apostates. The GB should be scared of apostates. So thanks everyone! I am so thankful I was able to get out. I wish I could buy you all a beer!