JW women and body image

by Norcal_Sun 6 Replies latest jw friends

  • Norcal_Sun
    Norcal_Sun

    Yesterday I was reflecting on how being raised JW has effected my body image. I remembered an assembly talk from a couple of years ago. The speaker was doing your normal talk about modesty in dress. He was saying how women need to think about how they are dressing not just because they don't want to "stumble" their brothers but because the demons take pleasure in looking at women!! Why after all, their first sin was looking at women and taking human wives! So now I had this in my brain that if you dressed seductively at ALL there were DEMONS looking at you! Wow,what better way to get women to wear mumus than an argument like that!

    So now after being mentally free for 2 years I am connecting the dots about how I view myself. As a witness you should look nice but not TOO nice. I've realised that my whole M.O. was to just blend in to whatever crowd I was in, at meetings or at school. Attention from the opposite sex was bad. At school, you didn't want worldly guys interested in you because you couldn't date them anyway, and at meetings you didn't want to "stumble" anyone. So blending in, not standing out too much, thats how I operated. It didn't help that I was a 5'10 tall skinny blonde.

    Fast forward to now. After marrying I gained weight and was considered a healthy weight (as a teenager was underweight naturally). But as the years passed, I got a bit heavier. I wanted to do something about it but for some reason I just didn't CARE enough. Had a baby, now I am just about 15 pounds over weight. But I want to tone up and build strength while looking more fit. I haven't been able to get serious about it though and I think I have just figured out why, due to reasons stated above. If I work out and get fit I want to be able to show it off! Which was something I couldn't do while a witness without feeling guilt! And also I wouldn't be blending in. Now that I'm out, I feel like I want to stand out a little bit more and if I put in the work on myself I want to be able to flaunt it a little bit!!

    Did anyone else feel this way when they were JWs? How do you feel they affected your self image?

  • mamamo
    mamamo

    No low cut shirts, no slits in skirts, no tight jeans. Yeah, it makes sense that this is why I have body issues. Unfortunately I was the other end of the spectrum, I was/am a chunky medium height brunette.

    My shirts are now lower than they have even been. if you got it, flaunt it!

  • ShadesofGrey
    ShadesofGrey

    Huh. yep. I figured out about a month before we left the org that I looked like crap in a bathing suit because I was so concerned about being modest. My daughter and I both got two pieces and we feel so much better about ourselves wearing them.

  • wobble
    wobble

    Dear Norcal-sun, throw off the shackles of your JW past, tone up, feel good, show off what you have as much as you like ! you won't be able to forever perhaps, so do it now !

    There is nothing more attracive than a woman who is shapely and yet toned, we came to that conclusion on another thread.

    When you are ready, post a before and after photo, if you are happy to do so, you could keep anonymity by not showing your face if you really wanted.

  • Norcal_Sun
    Norcal_Sun

    Thanks for the replies!

    mamamo - I agree, if you've got it, flaunt it!

    Shades of Grey - It is so nice to not really have to WORRY about what other people think of your body.. if its good or bad! Its just one more stupid thing to be concerned over that we all just really don't need.

    Wobble - Thanks for the words of encouragement! I will probably take before and after pictures... with no face... and might wait a while to post them though, due to possible online stalking.

  • Found Sheep
    Found Sheep

    YES!!!! I not only had JW thinking but a controling ex-husband that would make me change if he thought I'd be looked at It has taken some time to dress normal and be comfortable in my ow skin. I had a clean the closet of all JW stuff and gradualy getting more attractive stuff... My husband now has never been a JW will now say things like "that sun dress is a bit long" or "oh don't put a shirt under that show your bobbie" and yes if I had a one piece.... unless we were water skiing.... he'd just say NO

  • blond-moment
    blond-moment

    It's always the women's fault. Husband beats you? You aren't treating him right. Look like a woman? You are stumbling the brothers. You have an opinion? You don't know your place. I could go on.

    Like so many cults, the women are just something to put up with.

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