The Angry Stage

EmptyInside

When I started posting here,I wasn't angry or bitter. I had not been through a JC. And I wondered why some here couldn't let go of the anger.

But,after reading what many have gone through,because of the relgion,I understand. And I find myself at times full of resentment and anger.

I really don't like feeling this way. Most of the time,I'm a pretty laid back person.

But,being raised in the religion,with little choice but to conform to it,and especially the wasted years...

And there is the fact of family that are hardcore,and being around them breaks my heart.

And there is nothing I can say or do that would wake them up,unless they are ready. I know that just a few years ago,that any time someone was negative about the organization,elders,etc,left me on the defensive.

Plus,I'm not ready to be an open apostate. If I didn't have family in,I think I'd write the DA letter. But,so far,the elders haven't bothered me. I guess,it's lucky,they don't really care at all.

And I'm angry that some do judge me and assume,but never really cared enough to ask why.

I don't plan on wasting too much time in this stage,because I can't let this cult take away any more of my life than it already has,that is the worst part of all. My life has been wasted. But,hopefully,I learned something from the experience,and it won't leave me bitter entirely.

I can't let them win.

Anony Mous

It's a stage, it goes away mostly. Some people stay in it and it really isn't healthy, I guess the more time you wasted, the more angry you are. My mother is still a little angry because she wasted a good 28 years. I was raised in it and wasted my first 28 years (she left 10 years before me) but I'm not so angry as her because I'm still relatively young.

Some people have wasted a LOT of time, I know one guy (been elder etc.) who when he was well in his 60's retired "to do more" but got disillusioned at how my mother got treated about 10 years ago (shows you the effect of people leaving not because they did something but because they're standing up for what is right), he is now in his 70's and old, he is very bitter and writes books about it.

I still get angry because I still get contacted once in a while and I see their slimy tactics. This evening my ex called me because an elder wanted to know something about the accounts I used to do - it's been several months now and they still can't seem to figure it out. She hung up after I told her I don't want to talk to them which makes me angry that they use her as a pawn.

Anger is normal, it is how we process certain things. However if you're often angry or depressed I would suggest talking to a doctor, get some type of therapy or join a gym or so. Hopefully you have someone to talk to, I had somebody to talk to tonight which helps a lot, if not, you can PM me if you need to talk to someone.

I would walk away if I were you, simply tell them you can't do it anymore because you have moral objections to their practices. If you've been a 'good guy' so far, you may affect others in your family or among the elders as well.

3rdgen

Being on this forum is helping me to deal with a lot of my anger over loosing nearly 60 yrs. Reading others experiences makes me realize I didn't have it as bad as some. I am feeling a connection with people I seldom felt a the KH. Humour is also a great release and there is plenty of it here!

flipper

EMPTYINSIDE- I agree with Anony mous that anger is a normal stage we go through exiting the Witness organization. It's only natural to feel we were screwed over unjustly - because we WERE ! What's helped me to cope with the anger is as #rdgen says being on this board and transforming my anger into helping newly exiting Witnesses to not feel so lonely . Everybody needs a friend after we exit this mind control organization and I get a lot of fulfillment in helping fading ex-Witnesses see how they can move on in life ! Thus I take my negative experience and turn it into a positive experience. Seems to work for me in pumping up my moods to be more positive. It's like - don't let the cult stop us from living our life happily. As many have mentioned here- one of the best ways to payback the WT organization is by living a sucessful happy life without them !

Also reading Steve Hassan's two books helped me get rid of the anger because it showed me that most all the JW's are freaking insane under the influence of mind control ! It's like- how can we really be mad at insane people ? They on't even KNOW they are insane ! It's like they have had a lobotomy or something . So that helps sedate my anger some as well, knowing they are victims of the WT leaders and boys at the top. So, that's just some things that help me. Hang in there Empty , you'll make it ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper

jamiebowers

And I'm angry that some do judge me and assume,but never really cared enough to ask why.

Be glad. You couldn't tell them the truth anyway. Let them assume and judge. In their minds you're probably having a pretty exciting life, LOL!

Lozhasleft

It is a phase, its true, although sometimes thinking I'm over that stage it rears its ugly head again. The loss of years and opportunities do leave a resentment thats justified. But for our own wellbeing we have to focus on the future cos we cant change the past. Easier said than done sometimes. I do wish you well.

Loz x

lilbluekitty

I'm going through that phase off and on, not as much about how some of you (and I) were treated, though that is enough to piss me off royally, but my issue is the lies we were told that we were lead to believe and how corrupt the organization really is and that I couldn't fully see it until I was finally out for good and even then it took me a few months. I'm angry that I didn't see it clearly right away and that even if I could have, I wouldn't have been able to get out of the cult because I would have been a child then and therefore forced into it. I also wish I could have seen the truth about the lies when I was 18 instead of almost 27 because yes, I'm angry about the years that were wasted, and the years of deep depression I could have avoided by getting the heck outta dodge.

But, as I said, this phase is more off and on, it doesn't affect me all day every day, just once in awhile I get pretty upset, then it fades again and I realize it's not worth being upset about.

Found Sheep

I went through and do still from time to time the anger stage. I think it is natural when you loose so much. Even if it is a good thing to loose

The Angry Stage

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