how elders chase faders

by leftchica 3 Replies latest jw experiences

  • leftchica
    leftchica

    Just wondering if my husband is being hunted down or not. I disfellowshipped myself 2 years ago and in my letter i told them to never "call" on me or come to my home. Now my husband was very active at that time and of course this whold ordeal has been hard. I suffered quietly and had many panic attacts and depression once leaving. Now I have moved on and have become a Christian.

    My husband since has not really attended meetings anymore, he did attend the 3 day assembly and then a few meetings here and there. I am still quite paranoid every time i hear a car door slam or a knock on the door(usually ups). He swears the elders will not "chase after him", being that he has faded once before and they never did then. However, when I was missing meetings they chased me down, and even called severeal times a week to see when they could stop by. Eventually 2 elders stopped by late one night and cought me off guard and tried to convince me this was the true religion.

    My concern is this: I know a certain elder texts my husband once a week reminding him of field service or the usual "we miss you", "if you need to talk we are here". As my husband says.."this is just a loving gesture", nothing more than that. He believes the elders are there to help him. I however find it HARD TO BELIEVE that thats ALL they are doing. Just a text here and there? He has been absent from meetings for about 6 months and his wife is considered an apostate. ... How DO THEY HANDLE THIS MATTER? Do they not come by unnannounced because of my letter? Or is someone possibly "spying" on my husband or us? Maybe they are calling him non stop and he just isnt telling me.

    Im just so happy he is fading and I have talked with him about us having a bible study together and he seems ok with it. I hope to open his eyes to the scriptures they have changed or just interpretations that are different than witesses. Im afraid the minute he makes a meeting they will swarm over him like bees and try to get him to maybe study with someone.

    If anyone on here was an elder, how did you handle situations where one spouse was dissosociated and the other not active? I find it really hard to believe they are NOT chasing him down afraid that I might influence him.

  • leavingwt
    leavingwt

    Is your husband attempting to retain friends/family that are in the WT organization?

    Based upon what you've written, it sounds as if he still believes that WT is God's Organization.

    At this time, you should focus on building Trust and Rapport. Further, you should assist him with identifying irrational fears and phobias that he has, as a result of his time as being a JW. Examples: Fear of apostate literature, fear of worldly people, fear of losing God's favor.

  • punkofnice
    punkofnice

    I was an elder and there's no one answer here. The reason I say that is because each congregation is different, works differently and cowtows to whichever is the biggest bully on the BOE.

    You may have a well meaning elder who seriously is concerned for hubby's welfare. You may have a power tripping swine that only wants to 're-activate' hubby as a trophy for when he can lick the CO's bottom when he visits. You may have a 'hunt the apostate' scenario...who knows.

    My best plan of attack would be to first realise the elders, indeed the watchtower corporation trading as Jehovah's witnesses(TM) has NO AUTHORITY what-so-ever over you and yours.

    Once this hurdle is jumped you can sit back and laugh at their utter stupidity in chasing their delusion.

    I'm not sure how your hubby is regarded in the congregation because it depends what the head power tripper thinks.

    Sorry I can't be any more helpful than that.

    Regards Paolo.

  • leftchica

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