When do I get to have MY nervous breakdown? Venting...

by serenitynow! 9 Replies latest jw friends

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  serenitynow!

  I know that sounds crazy and stupid, but has anyone else ever felt like they always have to be the strong one for others in their life, but you don't feel that strong? Like you have to be the sensible, dependable one, while the people around you have breakdowns?

  Two of the most important people in my life had psychiatric emergencies on the same day. It is difficult when the people around you have major issues, and they lean on you for support, but are not able to support you when you need help. My sister, who I am very close to was suicidal and I had to take her into the ER for help. I cried for 2 days. She's getting better, but my other loved one seems to be getting worse.
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  tec

  It doesn't sound crazy or stupid at all. I hear you! I think the fact that you aren't having a nervous breakdown (and are instead venting about it) shows that you are much stronger than you give yourself credit for being, though.

  I know the appeal though.

  You have to give yourself some time FOR yourself. Not easy to do with little ones, I know... sometimes even impossible. But you just keep going, because you have that strength in you TO keep going.

  If you can, though, get out and forget about everything for a few hours. When I say forget, I mean really just wipe it from your mind and do something you want or like to do for yourself... and don't think or worry about anything or anyone else. You have the right to give your mind and emotions a break like that.

  If nothing else, though, vent when you need to vent. Go have a good cry in the bathroom if you don't want the kids to see you sobbing your eyes out, lol. Its a good release, though. Better than keeping everything in, which tends to be what leads up to those nervous breakdowns.

  Peace and strength to you,

  Tammy
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  Intel

  serenitynow: < add more nice things that you like

  I am right now not in the best emotional situation to "chearlead" but because of that I wanted to answer to your post. I feel for you and perfectly understand what you mean! I always had to be compassionate to others and help, swallo, help, swallo (was an elder for 10 years, not for the title, would go out on a limb to help...)

  I think it is like balancing on a very small, narrow path and sometimes you "feel" that you will fall, but then your body senses this and "counter-balances" and you don't and Life goes on. Some people lose equilibrium / balance and just crash. Go with the flow, if you have to cry, cry, vent, you DON'T have to be the strongest. Martyrdom is some shitty idea that was placed in our minds.

  I hope you get on. (I can't believing that I am writing this, because I have been crying my eyes out, missing my little daughter that now lives with the mother, since I DA'ed myself). I have never cried like that and sometimes I don't want to be "the strongest", but after you cry it gets better, for some reason.
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  breakfast of champions

  I used to feel the same way, how do these people get away with pressing the "Stop-the-World-I-Need-to-Get-Off Button" while i have to go on with life?

  Having expereinced "nervous breakdown" myself, please don't ever wish for a nervous breakdown. It is one of the most dehumanizing experiences possible. Just be glad you can be there for others, as exhausting as it is at times.
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  nugget

  They are lucky to have you looking out for them. Unfortunately people are so busy leaning on you that it is no wonder that at times you need to vent anyone would. You need to look after your own health and well being too, being there for others can be stressful and draining that is why professionals have vacations. When people suffering are family members we feel as if we are never off duty so lean on those you can call on and vent when you need to until things improve.
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  Found Sheep

  you can breakdown we will listen....

  I felt like that when I was a JW i became the congregation shrink...
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  rebel8

  My definition of 'being strong' is not in the absence of emotions but the response to them.

  Best wishes to you...and a giggle:

  

  BTW, what I mean by this pic is it's not healthy to pretend as though you have emotions or not take care of them.
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  Azazel

  serenitynow i hope you get relief . sounds like you deserve a big hug (((((((serenitynow)))))). Sorry its the best i can do from here.
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  AGuest

  has anyone else ever felt like they always have to be the strong one for others in their life, but you don't feel that strong?

  Yes, ma'am, of course, dear Seren (peace to you!). LOTS of have felt like that. Heck, just being a parent (I was gonna say "mom", but...) can make you feel like that - LOLOLOL!

  Like you have to be the sensible, dependable one, while the people around you have breakdowns?

  You know what I learned? That a lot of that is on "us." Unlike these others... who KNOW "we'll" be there to "catch" them when they "fall"... we're not so sure. We're not sure that "someone" WILL catch us if WE fall... and so we don't allow ourselves to do so. But you know what can happen? Rather than choosing when and how ("gracefully") TO fall... the time and circumstance is sometimes chosen FOR us. And in such cases, the fall is even harder.

  I say: go on and fall. Someone will catch you, love. Maybe not as quickly or strongly as you want (or you might them)... but someone will. If you LET them. Which is what it needs to be about sometimes: letting OTHERS show YOU love... as you have always shown THEM. Not always easy to do.

  So, if you truly NEED to fall out, then, g'head... do it. At least that way YOU get to choose when... and how.

  I hope that helps... and peace to you!

  YOUR servant and a slave of Christ,

  SA
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  LV101

  serenity now: i hear ya. I've almost called 911 more than once on behalf of a psychopathic family member in the last week -- would love to get a psychiatric assessment. it's so hard to endure this and i feel for you. i keep telling myself that nerves don't break down so i hang onto my hair! it is truly amazing they can't help us when we're stuck in a blue funk but fortunately we have the incredible human beings on this board to buoy us and help.

  keep care!

  LV101