The elders visited me, sometime ago

by sd-7 8 Replies latest jw friends

  • sd-7
    sd-7

    ...And I forgot to post about it here. I just wasn't up to talking about my life for awhile. I'm still not going to, at least not as I once did. People who I wanted to tell, I tried to write or call you to tell you about stuff. Speaking of which, elderelite, did you change your number or something? I've called you a couple of times but nobody picked up... PM me if you still want to catch up sometime. Got news for you.

    So anyway, this was back in September. I was getting ready for a family outing, when there's a knock at the door, and my wife opens it. I hear that voice that floods my innards with both fear and rage simultaneously--the voice of the chairman of my judicial committee. "What the heck is he doing here?" I thought. I figure they're just coming to pay a friendly visit to the Mrs. to see how she's doing, as she's kind of at the bottom of the barrel from the theocratic standpoint--irregular at meetings, not very zealous in the ministry, oh, and married to me, a wicked apostate who has rejected spiritual light. So...obviously she'd need encouragement.

    She comes up the stairs and says to me, "The elders are here to see you." Why would they be coming to see me? Didn't our business conclude in March 2010? As is my nature, when fear and anger usually combine, with fear typically either winning out or at least restraining the anger enough that guilt prevents the worst of me from coming out. I take a deep breath and go down the stairs to see them.

    "We're just here because we like to visit disfellowshipped ones to see if they want to return to Jehovah's organization," the chairman says. He and the other elder--who was not on my committee--both look as though they're fully expecting me to show them the door, rather hesitant to sit down without asking permission and all. The funny thing for me was, I've been out for so long that I forgot there are actually people who talk this way for real and actually believe what they're saying.

    So we have a little sit down. They ask me if I know the procedures for one who wants to be reinstated. "It's right there in the 'od' [Organized To Do Jehovah's Will] book," I replied. "It's not rocket science." I explain to them, quite calmly, that I simply don't believe all that is taught there at the Kingdom Hall, and since I know there's no room for that sort of thing, what's the point?

    They asked me why I hadn't been to the meetings. I told them that I found the judicial committee to be a rather disturbing side of the organization that I had never seen before, and it had soured me on the entire concept. They explained to me that "Jehovah has standards" and that this discipline was for my benefit, something like that, I forget, and I needed to accept it and get on with, I guess, resuming my slavery to the Society or whatever.

    I asked them, "Are you here because you actually care, or because this is what you're supposed to be doing?" In typical fashion, the chairman's response was, "Well, we care about all mankind." Translation: we care about you about as much as we care about the neighborhood rapist. Nice way to answer the question without actually answering it. The other elder asked me why I would ask that question. Did I think they were putting up some sort of front? "Well, I can't read minds," I offered sheepishly, with a smile that belied my internal struggle to resist the violent fantasies playing out in my head.

    "So how's life been treating you?" the chairman asked. "Eh," I replied with an ambivalent shrug. The chairman took that to mean that my life was in bad shape, which he attributed to a fulfillment of what happens when you ignore Bible principles. The whole 'there's nothing out there' thing. I couldn't let that fly. I said to him, "There hasn't been any more good or evil that wouldn't have happened anyway. I'm not a fornicator or an idolater or anything like that. I just go to work and take care of my family."

    His response was that I should be looking after my family's spiritual needs as well. He had a talent for using my family as a tool of manipulation to get me to bow down to the company line. It never worked. I think I have been to two meetings this year, you never know--I might just realize the error of my ways. [sd-7 chuckles]

    The main problem here, however, is that the Watchtower Society routinely engages in dishonesty and teaches its members to lie about its beliefs and history unconsciously. How would I be looking after my family's spiritual needs if I supported them being in that sort of environment? That's to say nothing of the medical issues. My wife and I, who did of course reunite several months ago, are expecting a sequel to sd-7, we might even dare call him little sd-8, quite soon. So depending on how that goes, there may be some conflict over the blood issue. I hope not.

    Problem with that situation is, I'm not sure if putting me in charge of medical decisions for her would be wise. Every incident for the past two years might make it look like I want her to refuse blood in the hopes that she'll die on the table; I would imagine the police and courts might find that less than agreeable. My personal view is that it's not right for me to impose my moral view onto her life. The decision for treatment should be between the doctor and the patient. I would personally prefer to save her by any means necessary if it came to that. But if she was willing to throw me under the bus for her beliefs, well, I assume that means she is willing to stick by them in the face of death, as well. Sounds fair to me, strange as that may seem.

    Anyway, I do wonder if the elders will return in March. I might like to have a friendly chat with them about the two-part series on Jerusalem's destruction next time. Might be fun.

    Fact is, even though they're just men, I think I was still just as scared as I was at my judicial committee. I'm not good at standing up for myself, even after all this time. It's a shame. But let's not get back into that discussion.

    Oh, and...kurtbethel, remember that post you made at the beginning of my time here on JWN? You were right, pal. You were right.

    --sd-7

  • wha happened?
    wha happened?

    hmmm. Nervey to ask why in your own home, to person whom u didn't invite, why u would ask a question. The answer is it's my frickin home and I can do what I want. If u don't like it u can leave the same way u entered.

  • sherah
    sherah

    You're a better person than I for entertaining uninvited visitors. Sorry you had to deal with them, good job on questioning their motives.

    Congrats on the new addition!

  • wha happened?
    wha happened?

    yea I would have declined, and if asked why, my answer would have been, "because I say so".

    I doubt I'll ever need to face an elder body. I simply wouldn't allow it.

  • mamalove
    mamalove

    Hopefully you live life with few regrets. Be the best father and husband you can be and don't look back and the org as it is useless. Don't make this time you figured things out a waste.

  • tec
    tec

    Fact is, even though they're just men, I think I was still just as scared as I was at my judicial committee. I'm not good at standing up for myself, even after all this time. It's a shame.

    I hear you and I can be much the same.. in person, anyway (here I'm a bit more vocal, lol), but I read something a while back. One of those inspirational quotes that I can't remember how it goes e x actly.

    "Speak out... even if your voice shakes."

    I liked it. Kind of permission to be afraid, even to show that you're afraid... but to speak or do whatever you feel is right despite it.

    Peace,

    Tammy

  • elderelite
    elderelite

    Havent even read the post yet, just pm'd u my number cause i got a new phone, lost your number and had wanted to call you myself. *EE reserves the right to post another remark on this thread after actually reading it*

  • sd-7
    sd-7

    Cool, EE--thanks. We'll be catching up very soon.

    For whatever reason, it does seem clear that they didn't know what they were dealing with. Or maybe they did; they didn't bother actually opening their Bibles this time. Probably figured it would be poor judgment, as even the sd-7 from two years ago held his own with them fairly well.

    I mean, I'm really not sure why they would visit; my best guess is just that it's their protocol, you know, end of the service year and all that. I tried to be reasonable with them, but I made clear that I did not accept the 'faithful slave' or the 'organization' at the committee. Was that going to suddenly change because I didn't have their precious 'spiritual food' to gag on?

    I didn't want to be rude to them, as they proved worthy opponents at the committee. Okay, I held back, but they weren't too bad. Besides, it's politics--if I'm really rude to them I've got to deal with the Mrs. being mad at me. And they're just agents, not the real problem; they know enough to realize something is wrong, but they're just higher-ranking stormtroopers. My real beef is with those truly to blame. Even though it's war, there has to be some honor, otherwise what's the difference between me and them?

    But it'll be fine. It's just a speed bump on my road now. I've got more pressing things to worry about.

    --sd-7

  • jamiebowers
    jamiebowers

    This story is just as good the second time around. Go to sleep now, dear heart, and get your rest.

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